That's Me

I've been trippin I've been slippin. I've been doing everything

everybody a;ways dreamed that they would do/

On a wild roller coaster since the day that I left home

and by the miraculous grace of God i've made it through.

When the forces of the enemy inclose my soul with hopeless doom

and chopping jaws to chew my bones

I fight with all my might and have the scars to say Im right

So only Jesus mercy ever saw me safely home.

When everybody begs to listen to the stories of the way I've

raged the face of this crazy world.

I tell them that if I brag its on the Lord but with a smile

I gotta say that I love every minute of the battles

And I fight for all Im worth.

I've been flaming. I've been flying, I've been fighting while

Im crying in the pouring rain and blowing blizzards

of the north.

God has let me crash on mountains, wreak on highways, bounce

down ditches, flipped in the woods, so on and on and so forth.

Still each new sunrise so blows my mind and so surprised

To wake up in some country and had forgotten I was there.

I may not know where I am half the time

and the other half Im twice as sure that I dont care.

I've been sailing, I've been failing, I've been everywhere on my

way to being nothing at all over and over again.

I dont care if Im not here and I dont mind if everybody

minds their own business and leaves me right the hell alone

in the wind.

And it always hurts later when the bullet hits the bone.

But nothing hurts quite like a betrayal of a friend.

I've put out my thumb and i've put down my foot

I've picked up a clue or two on my way to nowhere

the long way around.

If the phone doesn't ring then it may just be me and my

thing. Loosing my way on this care free highway Ive found.

If Im not making sense Its just my way of saying that you

probably wont get my point anyway.

But if you see what I mean on the lines in between

Then thank God someone gets what the hell Im trying

my least not to say.

And all these (I's) and (me's) which may seem that Im full

of myself and that I see the world revolving around me

Im just talking to myself or do I mean myself and nobody

else cause I never take myself that seriously.

All this gobleldegoor Im like a fluke or Suese

and Im confusing the pubic wherever I roam

Searching one horse towns for the ultimate showdown

all by myself but never quite alone.

I've been thrown. I've been blown, I've been licked and kicked

by what for damn sure is the best of them.

Seen more then my share, done more than most dare

standing out like a sore thumb from the rest of them.

Too many times told its the end of the line and my

mother quit taking these calls in the night

When the doctor would say

'Im sorry to tell you mam, but your sons gonna die"

she says 'You cant kill him.  I've had this call many times

Tell him I love him and Good day." 

I've been sad but true, I've been black and blue

Taken by land and by sea.

Been up many nights just scribbling lines that when I

found them later I found hard to believe were by me.

Im still on my rant, Cant be told that I cant

Think I took a wrong turn on the highway to hell

Will you jump out and charge and taste the world at large

or just like the maulers lie safe in your shell?

To most I seen strange cause I've ridden the range and

Im from the way back and rough

Slipping and sliding, peeping and hiding and Im not stopping

until I've had enough.

So say a quick prayer for me Im not so much mystery as

always breaking all of the rules that I can.

You better look fast cause this surely cant last.

And I sure as hell must be a flash in the pan.

Im busy getting dizzy so dont have a hissy Im doing what

What all of you wish you could do.

I am just what I am so why should I give a damn

And I haven't got time to feel sorry for you.

Im sorry.

But I dont recommend you try it my friend because

My very next fight may end in a fireball while you

live safely and vicariously

I do as I wish by fife or by fist and someone's gotta

answer the call

And thats me.

Chris 

12.7.12 TX

P.S. I can fuck me up all by myself

I dont need any help.....

but world....thanks for trying

They

They tell me I should walk the line.......

i won't/

They said that I should give a shit.......

I dont

They say that I should worry about 

The way I live my life

They told me there's a price to pay

By God, they didn't lie.

They say that I'm no good

I know it's true

I go and always seem to do

Just what the hell I want to do

They say that I should be ashamed

I am not!

They try to tell me 'Take it easy"

All I can say is ....'WHAT?"

Many have tried to tell me many times

saying stand and wait your turn.

I haven't done that one damn time.

They say I shouldn't take more than I leave.

And a whole bunch other shit

i cannot bring myself to believe.

Well I say 'Take and ye shall receive"

They tell me I will reap just what I sow

I'm the one who pays the price.

how could they ever think I don't know?

All my scars add up to all my wrongs.

All my wild-ass ways are paid in blood

as I go on and on.

They preach to me the wage of sin is high.

i pay a pound of flesh most blazing days 

and crazy nights.

i won't stop till I'm wore down to a bloody nuh

I will cease my raging only when I've had enough

They have their list of (Don't's)

but so few (Do's)

What they call madness I call every day news.

They want me to live by their old rules.

Yes, they call me a crazy bastard.

And I just call them tools.

I can't hear their lecture when I'm running on full blast

If they can't see my point of view

Well, They can kiss my ass.

I'm doing just what I've always wanted to

I pay the price to roll these dice

And hell to [ay the dues.

When morning comes and I am done

and smoke may fill the air

Then I've had a good run. No wishing i had had fun.

By the fire in an old rocking chair

I'm from the way back and rough

And when I've had enough

I'll not be the one to despair.

their words were just a waste of precious air.

chris 11.30.12 TX

Free

I know there's no going back to all the places I've been

Also I know I can't remember everything I have seen

But still there lives inside of me an encyclopedia of glory and grace

For so much grandeur have i beheld in this life with these eyes

From beauty to gore and everything in between.

I have stood alone in places crowds would fear to fill

Between my cradle and my grave down highways in the night

Nothing to be gained by just standing still

And no battle was ever won without a fight.

When letting the wind so fill my sails, I'm pulled ever onward again

To the end of the line I must dash one more time

I would surely go crazy without some risk of danger

And this game won't be over until I win.

There may be no return for the bridge may have burned

and the swim may just then be my last.

but the hunger in my soul has always pushed me to go

never satisfied to say any journey was my last.

So when laid up or broken up or locked away for offenses

against some line on a paper that constitutes law

You won't hear me whining. I've got my own silver lining

And when I can't touch it I can still taste, smell, hear and see it all.

I'm as free as a bird even when held in a cage

and my soul still flies on the wind

I love all my scars. They're my souvenirs and friends

and the wild wide world has always been my stage.

You cannot lay me by when my spirits free to fly

All the world I have seen with these eyes

If you love me for now then that's all there is

I am as free as the clouds in the sky.

So don't cry for me and only keep me in your prayers

because by God I'll be better one more time.

If it's a place I haven;t seen then look for me there

And know they cannot lock up my mind.

Chris 

11/29/12 TX

Freedumb

You're only free if you're dumb.
No one is free any more from
slavedom.
You must pay one way or the
other.
You've been told you're free to
do as you wish.
What a crock of shit.
You're not allowed to just sleep
where you want.
Can't lay down on any land you
haven't bought.
You can't drive without
that license.
What a bunch of nonsense.
If you can't pay for food
you can't kill your own meat.
So you are not even free to eat.
They have made it so that if you
hear the word free
You know there is some sort of
hidden fee..
We are not free in any shape or
form
And you dummies who pay for
freedom
have sold your sole to
conform..
It's a freakin joke to me but so
sad to see the truth.
These government standards
they say are good for you.
Only free in you're dumb and
believe in their definition
of freedom.
What's so free about
freedom?

Chris 9/3/12

Now That I Cry

As a younger man I loved to break
their hearts in little shattered pieces.
Made me feel so powerful from city
to city with the bands that I toured with.
It was always so easy.

Even though I can still take what I want,
I find along the way stories of destroyed
and shelled out lives that I have left behind
in those days and now that I can cry I wish
I hadn't lived that way.

Nobody knows better how the miles take their
toll than I do for the lonely hours that I've spent.
And the tears now held back come down in
waterfalls now that I hear about the things that I did.

Now that I can cry I try to hold it back
and tell myself that I was just young.
I was a soldier and traveler tearing up
what ever would come.

But in the late quiet hours the tears come in
showers and sleep wont come till dawn.
And Im still on this road and I carry
this load on and on.

Now that I can cry every tear from my eyes
couldn't equal half the pain that I have left in their minds.
If cried a hundred years it wouldn't add up to the misery
I must have left behind.
Aw hell nevermind.

Chris 7/13/12

A Function

A function of this crazy life is
just to live through the given day.
Another thing that people dont
understand is how the hell I have
somehow have found a way.
Well I dont know.

Fight and fight and lay down when
you have the chance.
Just don't try to be anybody else cause
someone else would not know how
you know how to dance.

A function of living is by a system that
you have figured out yourself.
Whatever has gotten you this far might
never be any further help.

The only way is to adapt and by that
simple adaption survive.
Because by the way the only way to achieve
this function is to find some way
to stay alive.

Chris 7/18/12

These Seeds I've Sown

I have stood alone in places 
Crowds would fear to fill.

And I have looked on many a face
Which sent my heart a chill.
Still I continue in my quest
To put my spirit to the test
'Cause if ya got no guts you'll get no glory
All adventures have their stories.
A thousand nights I've spent alone
Upon the road to these seeds I've Sown.

Chris 8/6/09

Who Cares For The Traveler But Jesus?

Who cares for the traveler but Jesus?
On long weary roads in the white-line domain
It may seem like the black-top won't end.
It can feel like life is lonely till I see all the stars
And I remember all the places that I've been.
And say Thank You to Jesus... my friend.
It's a myriad of terrors or a garden of glory
Depending on how you look at things.
I've survived so much horror and still
Have happy stories to sing.
Only by his grace did I ever see new places
And still be in less than two pieces.
Who cares for the traveler....  But Jesus???
Chris 7/30/12

Wait For Me

There she lays in that bronze plated casket
The little girl I played with at home.
She'll be lowered down soon to molder
in the grave and turn to bone.

I wanna shake her and by somehow
awaken her and tell her let's go out and play.
Get up little baby... Don't act so lazy
We can just up and run away.

But now the violins are playing and
some bastard is praying
And they're closing the lid on your life.
The last time I'll carry you
Is to take you and bury you.

I kissed you and told you good-night.
Please wait for me in the light.


Chris 7/30/12 

The Storm

The storm has finally ended
and it's time to travel on.
But I will miss this place that for
the last two days I have called my home.
Just an old time roof and old straw,
I still smell the beasts
And I like them took shelter from the
storm beneath these craggy eves.

Chris 7/12 
Abbyvie MS.

Here Lies Me

Here lies me.....somewhere in the middle of no where again. 

A traveler off on a lark like a fish in the sea or a bird on the wind.

Wherever I am, I am just about to be 

in another place soon. 

I lay down my bones on this road I call home.

And try to send out some words that are true.

The sun has gone down and there is beauty all around.

How I wish for my readers to see 

What the world really means deep down in the seams. 

And how it feels to just sleep on the ground.

Chris 

4/18/12 Tupelo MS

The Cow-boy sleeps by the fire

The cowboy smokes his cigarette and

Flips the butt into the fire.

Darkness reigns and the coyotes sing as

Unknown things expire..

He’s been mending fences and

Killing rattlesnakes.

The life of a loner and nomad.

He don’t smell so good but he’s a good man.

Off in the distance a stone that has held for millennia

Gives way and tumbles down a spire.

His horse whinnies softly in the cool night air.. . . . . . 

And the cowboy sleeps by the fire.

Chris

6/14/06

Tampa Bay

A Leaf Is Always Falling

A leaf is always falling in the woods.

Some may fall from happenstance and

others for the trees own good.

But down they flutter into rock or gutter,

 life is just a season.

They seem to me to represent all

 that has rhyme and reason.

A leaf is always falling in the woods.

They stand for hope and peace and

 many things may never be understood.

Some are spinning wildly like the days I’ve lived till now.

Others floating tranquil.

All go back to the earth anyhow.

Others truck down violently when the sky is given sound.

Like pine needles driven from their bows to pierce
the flooding ground..

A leaf is always forming in the woods.

As others wither and die

It’s all for the mothers own good.

I listen. I hear them whisper as quietly they descend.

There is beauty to be seen in the brown and the green
and beginnings have always to end.

On the forest floor of evermore

 The story as plain as can be.

 Our lives are the same through he joy and the pain.

A colorful tapestry..

I hear the wind through the trees.

 The birds and the bees sound so good.

But a leaf is always falling in the woods.

Chris

What Should I Write?

What should I write in the
Middle of the night on these
Lonely and perilous seas?
Maybe no one will find it but
I feel compelled to send something
So someone may remember me.

If the captain's lost his way and
It's a watery grave, so be the
Fortunes of mayhem.
But I can't think of anything I'd
Like to relay at this time that
Would be of any benefit to them.

So an empty log tonight, for the
Captain cannot write and the first mate
Is missing at helm
But I must do my duty
But the truth is
I am lost just as well.

Chris 2/1/88
Off the southern coast of Africa 

Nothing Is Better

Nothing is better than getting old.

It proves I've earned all my scars

And have many, many stories that no one else has told.

It's sweet in it's own way when the creaks and the pops in

My joints make me groan for a second

But I can recollect that they have served me very well to this point.

This strong body of mine has stood the test of time and

By grace of sweet Jesus all I've done.

Through the mountains and deserts, high seas and dangers....

One worry that I don't have is dying young.

Chris 

7/15/12

Untitled

As hard as a diamond

As soft as a kitten

And nothing in between..

She can cut your heart or

Kiss you with such sweetness and

It’s always the utmost extreme.

Its summer or winter,

No warning in time

There to prepare..

As shocking as can be and

Brother believe me

Both will leave you

 Gasping for air.

Her beauty gives her power,

You either smile or cower

Confused.

So tiny but mighty

So powerful and exciting.

Saying . . . . Did I win, break even

Or lose? . .

Chris

The Sirens

Did sirens call me that night?

Over seas just as flat as to glimmer a long line of moonlight,

Did I hear a melody delivered in the key of G?

I thought I could walk the water but swimming came they to get me?

They sang me melodies unheard for centuries.

Of the lost and the saved on the seas.

Treacherous voyages and souls imperiled

They’d saved from the bottom of watery graves.

Dawn, I awoke in my cabin alone. . . .

And birth soaked in brine

I thought I had lost my mind.

Had I just drank too much?

Or was it something else?

Then on my pillow I saw the piece of kelp. .

Chris

Tell The Purple Flowers.....

Where Big Creek Lake flows into the woods

you might meet a moccasin or alligator.
On the lilly pads the frogs gurgle deep in the throughts
and you're sure to catch a fish sooner or later.
Bloody 98 runs over the bridge and little
purple flowers here and there.
Just west of the bait-shop and the farmers market
and strip-club whorehouse.
There is beauty to be seen everywhere.
Outside of mobile headed north and east where
they dammed up the big Creek and made a lake.
Is something you should visit if you ever get the chance and
tell the purple flowers hello for me.
Chris 7/13/12 7;05 AM

Trust In The Storm

We are not young punks that don't understand
the ways of this world...
We have to hold our faith when the sails have
failed and the anchor won't hold...
Otherwise we would just be another random suicide...
These storms will rock our lives unrelentlessly
And what I cant help but wonder is what we
would be like without them.
Without hopelessness then maybe there
would be no hope.
As dark as the night gets then the brighter
our hopes get and the grace of God teaches us to cope.
Though the ropes fail their rigging
and the sea rages deeper.
Can our faith pull us to shore?
When Christ laid down his life in torture and agony
he told us trust in him forever more....
It's easy to say there will be a brighter day
and just spit out advice off the cuff.
There may be much worst to come
before this life is done.
And I know that I have said enough.
Chris 7/12/12/ 3AM

It Feels

It feels like Im frozen in a space
Between pain and paradise.
Nothing to hold but a lovely
love so cold that she can turn
my orgasms into ice.
Such an unbelievable feeling
that the thought leaves me
reeling into depths as deep as
the black.
As I drop down Im fine with the
darkness I've found because I dont
deserve to come back.
My mermaid catches me so
deep in the sea and wraps her
tiny arms around mine.
And though colder it gets
I have no regrets because she
catches me just in time.
And although its a dream I know
what it means and I wrap my
strong legs around hers.... as we
plunge deeper and dearer I take her
and take her...
And take her and take her.
Chris 7/8/12 6:42 AM 

Where lives were lain down

Where lives were lain down and Guts were blown out

Is the very place where we received our freedom.

On battle fields far - flung and still holding their guns,

Where the eagles soar they made us

Freed-men..

We shall never forget and we’re forever in debt to

Hard charging vigorous young men

Who furiously fought for the freedom

That they bought us

Again and again and again.

There are no pretty pictures on battlefields

Shattered by shelling and the screams of the dying.

God bless every soldier over and over

Who gave up their youth and all they held precious

For their eagle is still proud and flying

Chris

Independence Day

2012

How many?

How many times have I

Listened to rain-drops and not

Told the stories they sung?

And how many tears have I

Seen in others eyes just to

Forget the stories they begun?

Caught up in a rat-race in

The savage chase of the

Almighty profit

Did I forget my true calling to

The penny’s caterwauling?

Shit! Tell me, where along the

Way that I dropped it.

Awakened as if asleep in a

Dream that I haven’t really

Liked from the start

Is the truth I forgot that who I

Truly am isn’t as important

As the truths I must impart..

So much like Rip Van Winkle

Who dozed in the shade to

Awaken so many years hence.

To find life doesn’t give back

What is taken, in fact time

Takes more with no thought of

Recompense..

How many rain-bows gave

Such color and splendor while I

Saw only the black and white?

What battles were fought and

Destinies sought that I didn’t

Save for all time?

What a shame for me to claim

I paid attention to the game

When the truth is I fell by the

 Wayside

Now I know where I failed and

New wind fills my sails.

I shall sail on the next coming

Tide..

Chris

6/15/12

Lost and lonely

As i sit here lost and lonely

And this money doesn’t make

Me happy.

Oh, I got rolls of it.
I got bowls of it

But dead presidents can’t make me happy.

Dead presidents just don’t understand me.

Lost and lonely in the shadows

Radio playing so low

As I play a slow sad song

Composed to make the hurting

Grow.

And just the melody of

Loneliness

Is a symphony

But my fingers can’t find the

Right strings.

For the heart of my music was

Lost in the storm

Across these many seas.

Even here on the sea where

Waves of beauty surround me

Calypso and Poseidon’s moist kiss

They don’t do a thing for me

When her laughter will not sing

To me

Give all of it for just one kiss.

Chris

Nowhere

6/29/12

Yeah

Yeah, I know where I am and I

Don’t give a damn cause where i was has brought me here.

If I had gone somewhere else

Then I wouldn’t be myself
 In the mirror.

I won’t apologize
For this look in my eyes.
Why should I pretend
just to promise you forever?

I get what I am by not giving a

Damn.
The less I care then the

More I feel better.

Yeah, and this is just me and

If you don't like it then just

Don’t fuckin' read me…

My life is my own book,

If you don’t enjoy it don’t look

At the images of the rodeo

Story…

Chris

7/2/12

Didn’t know

I didn’t know that that solid

Fortress of me could fall.

I never imagined that the walls

That I built could be brought

Down by something so small.

I can’t even begin to see where

The chinks that built up over time

And the damage was unseen

Till the forces were so overrun

On the line.

I didn’t realize what a

Compromise giving of myself

Would entail.

In foresight I can’t find in

Myself any cause to regret

The loss of the forces that failed.

I didn’t know what I know now

But even if I did, I’m a better

Man to take the defeat.

The loss of my nothingness

Is replaced by a loneliness

And the agony is O so sweet.

Chris.

Dreams

Dreams don’t come so easy to

A man that’s seen the world

And majesties just another

Word

To the jaded and hardened by

The sword.

Looking to See the answers

But Heard all the answers

Before

He just trips through his life

On the edge of a knife

In an effort to never be bored.

Chris

Pacific palisades CA

6/4/12

I’m not back

I’m not back from the universe yet

On the cusp of Orion with the

Shattering asteroids.

Barely feeling that I was ever myself

Like a rocket - man I’m flying

Where there isn’t any sound or air.

It’s just a beautiful void.

My telepathy will call you
As it ever always does
And I know, you
Just know how I feel.

In the Milky Way sway,

Eternal night and day.

In the cosmos’ vacuum of the celestial surreal.

Not a sound can I hear so I

Don’t need to sound sincere

My jet - pack is full of hot air.

No Up or Down or

Horizons or Ground

Screaming through my own

Atmosphere.

I’m not back and I’m not

Foreword.

I’m pretty much not on the ball.

Just a thought I can’t think.

Flying into the brink

Houston, we have no problems

At all.

Chris

Charleston SC

My goal

My goal is to make everyone

Go everywhere and see everything
From just where they sit.

I can surely paint the picture

That leaves the world in rapture….
Be it gore  or

Soliloquies of bliss….

Butter-flies flying or the

Smell of people dying
Whatever I’m sent is what it is.

My goal is to print down the

Things that I’m sent and let

You judge for yourself what I meant

Chris

7/1/12

Magenta Through The Sky

The Leaves are Black
Before the sky
Purple Pink Magenta.

The leaves, The sea

Everything loves black.
Sleeping in this little spot
below eagles point
beside the sea
wrapped in blue tarp
wearing Don's leathers
Opened up for the Eagles tonight
singing Johnny Cash
The wind is cold
Puking up
Tarantula Margarita
Chris/Mary 6/21/12 2:59 AM

Carlos

Met a guy named Carlos who's surfed at Dana Point

Told me a story about how he first

Heard Johnny Cash

An old VW that was hard to start

But finally started at last.

I guess as he said it was Christmas time and a guy with a 

fatback and yuletide spirit

Offered to play a couple 

songs for the family

And they said they'd be glad to hear it.

A boy names Sue so confused and entertained young Carlos

He said he danced like a fool and 

right then he knew Johnny Cash was the boss.

These stories of the king who for me would sing when he

tossed silver dollars down.

The man in black will

I never be back and dont take your guns to town....

Chris Mortonelli 6/17/12

Me and my son just read your story of me together. Thanks for my Fathers Day gift! Your spirit lives amongst many souls you meet and I have the moment to prove it. 

Hasta Manana Amigo

In The Land of The Bird Of Paradise

In The Land of The Bird Of Paradise

Everythings green and so full of promise

But everythings fake and that includes the promises.

Everythings great in the land of the bird of paradise.

Daddy dont lie and mommys not high

And the maid dont steal your ring

Little brother aint gay he just likes

the way he looks in tights.

And everythings green in the land of the bird of paradise.

Southern California, such nice hills even the ones of silicone based.

She didn't have surgery, she just has a youthful face

Nananana na all is Shangri-La

All is what it seems if you believe your dream.

Surrounded by the bird of paradise.

Such a lovely yellow orange and periwinkle blue.

They're growin' everywhere

At ocean ranches too

If you lie to me then Ill lie to you too.

Nobodies dirty in these bedroom towns

Don Henies not high and Whitneys still around.

The ground dont shake and nothing gets me down.

In the land of the bird of paradise.

If I had a house on the hill rite there

I think id have you over but the owners aren't there.

I can see the ocean blue as arctic ice.

In the land of the bird of paradise.

Chris Del Mar CA. 6/16/12

How Many?

How many times have I listened to rain-drops and not told the stories
they sung?
And how many tears have I seen in others eyes just to forget the stories
they begun?

Caught up in a rat-race in the savage chase of the almighty profit
Did I forget my true calling to the penny's caterwauling?
Shit! Tell me, where along the way that I dropped it.

Awakened as if asleep in a dream that I haven't really liked from the start
Is the truth I forgot that who I truly an isn't as
important as the truth's I must impart..

So much like Rumpelstiltskin who dozed in the shade
to awaken so many years hence.
To find life doesn't give back what is taken, in fact time
takes more with no thought of recompense..

How many rain-bows gave such color and splendor
while I saw only black and white?
What battles were fought and destinies sought that I didn't
save for all time?

What a shame for me to claim I paid attention to the game
When the truth is I fell by the wayside
Now I know where I failed and new wind fills my sails I shall sail
on the next coming tide.
Chris/Dana Point CA/ 6-15-12

Scattered Me

This state and that stage,

I've read the final page

Im writing things that dont make sense to me anymore

Bad shots and tied in knots and parts of me in flaccid shock

They look at me like i know the answers

Wheres the bar?

I'm not yer star 

And insincere apologies

Im not a wreck I just feel sick

And all these shows has finally scattered me

I wake up and say where are we today

Does anyone remember where we were yesterday

This dream and some girls screams

And why does it always have to be me

Cant you make your own illusions 

Sick and tired of your intrusions

All these lies has surely scattered me

Broken glass, i dont recall

Punching holes in all these walls

And feinting transparent sincerity 

I'm just a shell, leave me hollow

Hold me to your ear and hear the sea

Rolling on the bottom

But dont put me in your bottle

Just a shell, this sea has scattered me

Black and blue, im desuetude of truth

The spiders sucked me dry, i need a drink

Tripping over guardrails, 

Vacuum fills my sails

Jotting down in coherent tiddlywinks

I'm not yer star, I am, you aren't

My salt has been diluted by yer seas

All this nothing's finally scattered me

My Own Heart

A whisp of wind from some distant fire.
An echo carried over the waves.
I miss her presence with loney desire.
The memory of her touch is my agoony to save.

The saddest admission I've ever had to make
Stabbs to the soul like a dart
I held what everyone prays to have one day
And I like a fool broke my very own heart.

I stare in the mirror at this face she once kissed,
Look at these hands she held .
She tried with all her heart to give me such bliss
And what did it get her but hell?

When I had nothing she gave all that she could
Through hardships she stayed by my side.
Now I have everything but it really means nothing
Because her love for me has finally died.

I have extinguished the loveliest of flames
On the petal demure have I tread.
With my very last breath shall I whisper her name
But in my heart I am alraedy dead.

I have killed what was precious,what was sent down of heavon
And forever my deepest regret.
Till the end of my days I could never repay
Ever shall I be in her debt.

My own soul if forfiet, the essence of joy
I've squandered and torn it apart.
I mocked her sincerity and pissed on her charity.
              Never knew I could break my own heart !
                                                         12/7/11
                                                               taladega al.

How The Desert Smells

A haze lies between myself and the ridge to the west.
A dusty yellow ora with the baking lilt of sterile dust.
There is nothing here to see except for everything.
The Sago-lilly high on the peaks
And the lizards that scurry with ease.
Rocks as sharp or as dull as a spoon
When no shadows exists then exists only noon.

From The Time

From the time I was a young boy I have wondered how I'd feel
If my thoughts coud ever be expressed in terms I saw as real.
If the things I felt were valed or just some form of twisted view
And if I were to say I loved her
What would she then do.

From the time I was a young boy playing soldier with a stick in the yard
I have dreamed about her shape and ways and held hope in all regards.
Yes from the time I was a baby I have dreamed of her perfume.
It's like everywhere I have ever been she had just then left the room.

Is she waiting on the twi-light ?
May she play a song for me
As I have listened to the wind again and wondered ,
Wher now can she be ?

Is she standing on the ever spanning bridge of light and time
Sending thoughts to my subconscience through some channl in our minds?
Is she sailing down the river Styxx singing songs that say my name
Leavind lillies in the water in the hopes I'll know she came?

Are her eyes of blue and turqoisewet with tears against the sun?
Does they search the lost horizons for my sails
Like for her's I've always done?

Is she out there picking Daiseis in the fields of hope and faith ?
In my dreams her golden hair shines like twi-light for my sake
As I walk the the beach and deserts over peaks and valleys low
I hope I'll find her in the gloaming with the purest whitest glow.

All these questions hold one outcome , just her and I as one
When god formed our souls in heavon
The truest of loves was begun.

And he made us for each other all destractions cannot stay.
Only one made for the other so no attractions can hold this sway.
Yes I sojourn with vigor and know what I shall find,
Curse the years that have seperated us
But souls such as ours walk a line.
In destiny and solemn promise of a  day  that will end with a night
That's binds our bodies and souls again as they were formed together in the light.

To the beat of hearts in passion I stay a somber even course
From the time before all time beagan I could somehow feel her force.
To the last of my reserve I shall search the seas and dunes
Under scorching sun and stormy cloud by light of day and dark of moon.

Are the stars the becons of her mercy and the moon her blessed glow
Does she cry for me as a stranger or as someone she's always known?

The promise made within us will someday dawn the perfect day
When our hearts shall join in ernest........
Together..... Forever to stay.
                                                       8/12/86 jakarta Indonesia
                                                        10/19/11 ms
  

Leaders Of The Night

Leaders of the night ,,,,,, they are drawn into the action.
Truth is always out of sight.
They're only words, No satisfaction,,,in the end.
And they wield a word of naught with seeming power and might.
Like a sickness of the soul,,,
Leaders of the night.

Their words are thick with deception.
There's this promise of death's resurrection.
You see, the leaders of the night
Are a moral , social and spititual infection.

You have , for instance Manson in his cell
A well deserving candidate for hell.
All shall spit upon his grave.
All these so called leaders
Are crafty, cunning deceivers
Followed by the death they cause and crave.

And I don't mean to do them justice
Though I must mention some names
They are in no way leaders except in  the sickest of games.
Leaders of the night....Indeed !

This and nothing more.
No true message to implore.
Just insane and endless ramblings
No more than shavings on the floor.
Rampant with their warnings "death is knocking at the door."

They are the biblical whores of Revelations.

Look at Koresh. The whispers still abound
But only bones and ash were found on the compound.
Burned away and bull-dozed to the ground.
No legion of angels flew away on a cloud.
                          Did they ?

And the fly is on the web.
Son yan moon is on the ebb.
The only way to way to snare the lost, I guess
Is to teach them what they want,,,instead of what is right
Aahaa!,,,,So that is what is done by the leaders of the night.

This and nothing more  "come on drink the juice and nothing more"
"come on dummies,take the tour, look at the pretty pictures
It's the way to heaven I'm sure."
Oh My God, what whores !
Insane and endless ramblings no more than shavings on the floor.

Heavens gate stands open
Though by the strait and narrow path.
But they can't be throtteled
Their doctrine is hollow
They can't be bothered with the math,,,,NOOO!

Lay your hand on the television
And the other on your purse
If you don't send me all your money
Your pain will only get worse..
Help me buy another Bently
Or your pain will only get worse.
    Can I get an Amen.?

To cultivate the mind with seeds of malific thoughts and ways
Paves such a distance on the  road to hell.
You see the simple are easily led astray.

And their leader  becomes their God.
Like a plague his power grows.
A sick and twisted crop
Planted in thick sadistic rows.

Monolithical megalomaniel with so many isms and schisms
If you don't send me a million dollars I'll die.
It's really such a worthy decision.
God is broke , he needs a loan.
Power hungry preachers in mansions of gold.
Decieving the flock, hearts cold as rock
Condemning thier followers everlasting souls.
                                       God help us.

With the teeth of the hydra cold-blooded snakes
Slithering squerming like snakes with forked tonges.
They wear their silk suits for their own greedy sake
Damning forever the old and the young.

So to any group who follows a man
I warn the day may come
When you line up for your slaughter
Like the sheep both dumb and numb.

It's ok to doubt man not god
So try their motives well.
Though pretty worlds are inchanting
Would you follow this guide to hell?

Iatollas while you roll
Twisting, burning in the flame,
Dave Koresh, Son yan moon ,Jack Kavorkien ,Jim Jones
When you cry on Jesus' name
May the hours never cease that find you boiled then crisping.
Now you've found true darkness .
Satin's found you in his listing.

And the darkness is your torture
Paid in full you souls of spite.
Ever falling,,,always lonely...
So called leaders of the night....

                                  ROAST ON BOYS!!!!!!
                                               7/25/93 ft lauderdale fl
                                                11/12/11 raleigh ms.                                                      

Come Winter

I'll see you come winter
But I must be away
The buds are on the trees
And longer grows each day.

I shall hold you in my memories
And dream of you at night
But the summer sun is calling me
So I fear I must take flight.

Sadness in my heart I feel
But new life in my bones.
You say that you can't go with me
So I must leave you alone.

A part of me still stays with you
But the rest of me must roam.
The fields and mountains, streams and valleys
Are calling me back home.

I'll see you , come winter
When the hollyhawks lay down their round brown heads
 When the snow on the meadow is shimmering white
And the animals that hibernate lie safe in their beds.

The road is calling
And the birds are all but gone.
May you hold me in your memories
When you hear that Santa Monica song.

I'll see you , come winter
And if I'm still alive
I may just take you sailing
On the bay by night.

Heading north with the frost-line
Some snow still on the peaks
 .............for now
So much I gotta see
While the warmth of summer allows.

I know how much it hurts you
Because it cuts me deeply too.
I'm one for the money and two for the road.
It's just what I always do.

I'll see you come winter
When the hawk is out in force
With a summer tan on my body
Escaping the winter up north.

In the mean-time remember
I'll be back come December.
    And I promise to kiss you in that same special way
Like I never left a moment
And I've come bck home to stay.
I'll see you, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,come winter
                                           4/6/09
                                              gainsville fl

    

Jack and Jill

                                          

Jack and Jill were born one day in a house on a hill in a land far away.
Their parents, good people did solemly attest to bring them up properly and they surely did their best.
Both healthy and lovely, the twins sweet and bright never failed  to garner smiles from anyone in sight.
Yes both of them thrived, excelling greatly in life going faithfully to church and nieither telling lies.
Seeming never to fail, always striving and attempting .
Both parents so proud of their efforts unrelenting.
Time passed as it will and when both started school
They mastered their subjects and followed every rule.
Each top of the class and nither one the fool.
Jill with her etiquette and Jack with  his tools.
Through all of these years like a hand in a glove.
Never anything between them but kindness and love.
Though they deeply loved each other they would speak of the day
When they must go their own seperate ways.
Jill planned to marry of man of the highest esteem
As a lady of true class she would serve as his queen.
For a gentleman and scholar of highest import.
Over servants and maidens she would serve in his court.

Jack planned to be a conguer and great leader of men
In fair and honest dealings, true and faithful till the end.
To build a strong and mighty empire, solvent through and through.
Jack would be renowed to all and gracous to all he ruled.
So time marched on as it forever has and still does
And we as mortals can only mark it for what is is and was.

Surely you know that wherever you go, whether you live in a castle or huvel
It just goes to show one day you'll lay low beneith some man with a shovel..
So the years flew by and the twins grew to the age
when children leave the nest and lives must turn a page.
As all concered would have it eventually came the day
When the two most inseperable went seperate ways.

Jill followed her dreams foward to the utmost extent
With stellar sucesses everywhere she went.
Yes, Jack too finished school but by the skin of his teeth
And in following his dream went down to the sea,
As men often do he sailed into the sun
With a fond "Bon voyage " and a new life begun.

His sister wed her nobleman, A knight and gentle Lord
Who covered her in splendor of all he could afford.
As years passed by she rose higher in piety ,
Her and her husband both pillars of high society.
A couple well recieved by all, yet humbled by their own noteriety.

For Jack it was a struggle still he strived on and on
Doing his best but he drank to excess. and everthing seemed to go wrong.
In her mansion of splendors Jill prayed for her brother
Who however hard he tried went even further under.
Now Jill , true to love gave him all that she could
Even secreting loans that never did any good.
Still she remembered her playmate and friend
A dedicated sister who'd love her brother till the end.

However hard Jack  seemed to try always he met a  brick wall.
No matter how high he climbed and climbed  the further he had to fall.
Still Jill in her most regal splender raised a family soft and tender
And deep in her heart as it was from the start her sweet brother she remembered.
But poor Jack's life never quite would go right
From pillar to post, a different woman each night.

In casinos and taverns he'd gamble and lose
Usually spending what was left on callgirls and booze.
The end came for Jack one cold and rainy night
In some nameless dark alley lost his miserable life.
Noone  ever knew or could  for certain sat right
If he died of his own or someone elses knife.

Not long thereafter jill one day grew sick.
Her husband summoned the best doctors and medics.
But nothing could save her as she knew from the start
No medicene exists to heal a broken heart,
There she died in her mansion with servants at her feet
And she cried for her brother who died in the street.

Yes just another story, not even a chapter
No fairy-tale ending with happily ever after.
A moral repeated down ages and eons
As long as humanity must struggle on.

So nothing changes and never will
      Not in the valleys or high in the hills
Because,,,,,,,,,,,,,Two beautiful children wewr born today ....
              In a house....on a hill.................In a land far away
                                                              chris
                                                               1981 chicago
                                                                2011 ms
  

And The

And the Podersoa Pines are still fine.

The Twin Arrows still stand and the

Air is still as dry as the sun.

Where birds dont even go.

The creasote still grows

So far life is still as young as

The day it begun.