Chief Red Moon

I took up the lizard and prayed with Chief Red Moon...
Three stones gave he me
And in front of the red rock cave
I was told I was given a new soul.
That what was...was before was no more and a bracelet
that I must wear forever and forever more..
Gave me raindrops in a stone cup and said he that I must kneel and sup
Only one of his gray hairs did he allow
That I should share his dreams.
So that should he die first or the other way around
our spirit would not kiss the ground
Under the red rock cave...
And a bracelet that I could give to no other cept under the deep red cave.
09/19/11 1:15pm

Inside The Dark Night

Inside the dark night
Of my madness
I dream of a place
Without colors or Me...

Where nothing that matters
Can truly reach
Or beseech.

Its like when I was young
And the thing that I'd become
Hadn't reached to
Twist or deceive.

But did I make a choice
Or listen to the voice
Inside of the dark
That was in me?

Use Your Youth

Use Your Youth. Use Your Youth.
It wont last forever.
Be true to you and break all the rules.
All the people who want to make you conform are full of shit.
You gotta jump out and grab or you will never have it
Life is the number one drug my friend...
Come on and take a big ass hit of it.
We cant afford to waste a damn minute when the grass is growing green.
Cause, we like the grass are here to live and pass
It's what you do in between that may last.
While your young and alive you gotta strive try and thrive.
And take all you can get.
If you live long enough and you're strong hard and tough
You can sit by the fire when your old without too many regrets.
But if you live life vicariously watching others jealously cause you're too scared to play.
You will bitterly mourn
That you chose to conform
And give all that you have to be young for one more day...
Youth is a gift that time always takes away.

A Little Place

I have A Little Place I go
Back under the trucks where nobody knows.
I lay in the grass and forget the hubbub
Get myself back to gods tender love.
I smoke me some herb or I just close my eyes.
Suddenly Im somewhere high in the sky.
In quiet recluse on the cool thick grass.
I sometimes ponder nothing and just let the time pass.
A quiet little place and though its not my own.
All of his creation is a place that I call home.

Crying Apart

God how it sucks to be crying apart.
One says one thing and another says another.
And the images of lost hope
Catch a heart or ear off guard.

Little inuendoes that might not
mean a thing otherwise
Send a bolt of lightning like a
needle in the eye.

The on the seperate ends cheeks
are wet from the pain of a'carte.
How it sucks to talk together
When words make us cry apart.

Love is such pure agony.
When soul mates cry apsrt.
Like the pieces of some childs play set.
Why did we have to fly apart?

visions

And I saw great beasts fly over the face of the land with great speed.
Passing over continents in minutes coming to deliver the death of entire peoples. As they dropped their eggs from on high which began to hatch into orange orbs that blossomed into beautiful black and red flowers like seeds growing treetops in an instant I heard a voice crying "Judgement". From up top I could see the clouds that they made and the dust that was generated was as great as a sea.
Then the bahemouths of the deep sent blossoming sprouts trailing smoke as they rose just below me. Their tails were as scorpions and in their heads carried the bite of destruction. All that man built in his glorious dreaming melted like the wax of a candle.
The ash black as night rolling like waves encombered my vision in an instant but the voices of anguish and agony pesisted and creshendoed till the angels held their ears.
When the dust cloud had settled I saw what remained was a waisteland of death and destruction. Like rats the survivors fed on each other and cursed the god of their creation .
The blood red sea sent out such a stench till my nostrals were a curse in themselves. As the birds that remained feasted on the remains sitting flightless bloated and diseased.
I heard a geat laugh from the keeper of death and he like the birds was ingorged.
His voice roared like thunder and bodies torn asunder with his force.
With my eyes full of tears from the smell and the loss I cried out "God,why let it be".
But the angels were leaving and the vision retreating.
The unfolding of what was foretold to be.

Tears

Every time a bomb blows up
And tears apart the lives of innocent children
We realize our darkest fears.
The angels cry and every mothers eyes
Fill up with tears.

When the innocent pay the price
For what their governments have done
And the wretched evil killers
Take the lives of the helpless ones.

Misery reins with sencelessness and pain
The savegly breaks everyones heart.
For the wickedness of man none can understand
Stabs so deep and tears our consciesness apart

The nightmare of terror and the darkness of demonry
Naked for the whole world to see
A numbing sensation of catastrophic degredation
And why should the children have to bleed?


It lets us all know their must be a devil
And their reconing will surley be hell.
But the suffering and pain are pay to the insane
So the tears of all the mothers
Could fill a million wells.

1/27/11

Stood

If I stood alone, at least I stood
Maby did some bad but I left a mark on their hearts
And into the nights I rode
By myself but never alone.
As hard as a stone on I rolled
They felt my metal and I havent setteled.
And once again the bullet hits the bone

If maybe you think I regret
or feel that the mold has been set
Then you are the fool out a school
Cause life is the fight and the snakes crawl at night
And I love it cause it aint over yet.

If death is the promise before me
then I dont give a shit I SAID IT AINT OVER YET !
All this danger does nothing but bore me.

I stood when others ran away
I am standing and laughing today
If I go to my grave tonight Fucking and fighting
At least it's exciting
Better to burn than to fade the hell away.

Give me pain by the bushell,
Pave my way,,,,,,, with the bones of my madness
Till the first light of day breaks my skull.
I shall deride all the comfort and ease
Like a ship on the sea craves the waves and the deep.

Bring it on! Bring it hard
Kiss my ass in the dark
Tell me lullibies later if I live.
But I doubt it and Even though I try
I can't bring myself to give a shit.


From the tempest I pray no reprieve
Not a sniveling creature reduced or decreased
Oh not me !
Not the easiest route,
My life's not about what is safe.
I can stand what is hard. I can give no regard
To the grave.

I have stood alone in places
Crowds would fear to fill
And I have looked on many a face
Which sent my heart a chill.

Still I continue in my quest
To put my spirit to the test
'Cause if ya' got not guts you get no glory
All adventures have their stories.

If you had a shovel maybe I would show you
The ones who tried my mettle are six feet below you.
And I get a laugh at the perals I pass
I stood ,I still stand.
Good ta know ya,

1/26/11

CLICK HERE FOR RODEOS PHOTOS

Hope Is Stronger

Hope is stronger than fear;love is greater than grief;life is mightier than death;
didaster is an incident of time.
The shadows of rain today will nourish the blossoms of tomorrow.

I've Paved The of Road

I've paved the path of destruction,been called crazy many days and by many ways.

I've shown the traits of disfunction and malfunction
And continue to do so without the slightest compunction.

I've got the scars so I cannot forget, I'm still at it daily
But I don't brag I give credit to the good lord who saves me.
Yes I've cut the road that no-one should follow.
So many stories so hard to believe.
Such bitter pills that no-one could swallow,,,,,,,,,But Me.

How am I still here? I don't know.
How many of my books have I lost along the road?
But still I keep writing in the hopes that someone will read
These words and and lessens sent in joy and misery.
But God help anyone who tries to follow behind me!

Yeah, I've cut the road that many many have died upon.
Ridden this path of destruction all my life but I'm still alive.
Don't try it yoursel whatever you do!
Because all that have tried have failed to survive.
And I know for sure So Will YOU.

Ridden horses ,camels, elephants, bulls, rockets many other things
Including many jets .Crashed in a flash that tore out the flesh many times
And damn skippy, I aint finished yet.

Believe me when I tell you I've ridden the rails.
Never set by or keep rolled the sails.
Only the losser who's too scared to try ever truly fails.
And I've known many of these.
Do not try to emulate me !!!PLEASE.

Her Sting

She carries her sting in her heart, spreading misery and hopelessness.
Sending a darkening light with words that seem so lucid
But in the end are absolutly senceless,
And the sting of her love is a cruelness of cold and withering wind
Which seems to warm but is sent to freeze all in the end.

Her beauty is like the thorn on a rose so perfectly beconing and lovely to see
But then when held closley and brought to the nose
Stings like ten thousand bees.

Woe is me and foolish was the heart within me,
Then when you ache so truly and want to die
Then she's the spider who fed you her cider
Leaving you to hang in her web, sucked so dry.

No more embrace from the beauty and grace
Only passion left to wither on the gossimer line.
What of the succulance which turned out to be a sucubus?
I just didn't see it in time.

She carries her sting wrapped in a smile and such an enduring laugh
Woe be unto the fool pulled into the lovely light
Which comes with a cackle and raise yours hackles
To charmingly cut you in half.

How bitter the honey, how rancid the fruit
So wonderful the pleasure of her flesh.
Then stripped to the bone you will wake up alone
To find she took all you had left.
She carries her sting in her heart.
Rodeo
4/23/10

On The Darkening Glade

On the darkening glade he stood
The marsh was alive with wildness
'Hoppers on their cellos
Ccrickets on their violins
In the moisture of the gathering gloom
Came the apaphany, life is all that we are made of
'Till the mountains fall into the sea
Grasses weaving lichen deep
And such a shadow green
where life began and will one day end again
In the moving swamp he sat a stump
To ponder all and wonder,
How all that grows or breaths or walks
Will one day go asunder.
Lilies growing on the dry ground here and there
To finallyrealize to his surprise
He simply did not Fucking Care.
3/13/10
3/3/10

Stone Angel

A sad angel cries in the snow and the sleet
Standing through the decades,long to serve the one who's lost
As cold as stone her wings with ice and flowers at her feet.
The tear is frozen on her cheek and in her eyes of frost.

By the iron gate a gargoil with his bitter stare
Hates the angels beauty and her love for the departed.
Crouching through the centuries in the fridged midnight air.
Dares the angel thaw a tear for the lost and broken hearted.

But in the moon-lit cemetary nothing moves but snow
Crosses standing everywhere and markers made of brass.
The sad and lonely angel stands with grace and somber glow
Reminding all of heaven and the one below who's past.

The gargoil poses stoic on his haunches by the gate.
A sad and lonely angel stands the vigel night and day
Clothed in snow and at her feet the name and both the dates.
In the cemetary by the road, forever, patiently she cries and waits.

If You Still Care

Bury all your secrets in my skin
Come away with innocence and leave me with my sins.
The air around me still feels like a cage
And love is just a camouflage for what resebles rage again.

So if you love me let me know
My heart is just to dark to care
I can't destroy what isn't there.

Deliver me to my fate. If I'm alone I cannot hate.
I don't deserve to have you.
My smile was taken long ago.
If I change I hope I'll never know.
Oh God!!! I hope I'll never know.


I Still press your letters to my lips
And cherish them in parts of me that savor every kiss.
I couldn't face a life without your lights.
But all of that seemed torn apart when I refused to fight.


So save your breath, I will not care
I think my silence made it clear.
You couldn't hate enough to
Love what was supposed to be enough.

I only wish you weren't my friend.
Then I could hurt you in the end.
I never claimed to be a saint
And when I was stabbed and beaten
I thought that you would faint.

So break yourself against my stones
And spit your pity in my soul.
You sold me out to save yourself
And I won't listen to your shame.
You run away, you're all the same

Angels lie to keep control
All my love was punished long ago
If you still care don't ever let me know.

Angels lie to keep control.

Angel-Wings {When I see clearly}

When I see things in the clear light of a brand new day
I then remember oh so well how you make me feel.
When I stand and view myself and all that we've been through.
I know that I have found a love that's real.

I pine for you while misgivings fall away to ash.
If time could only take me back to our first kiss.
When I see just how preciously you've treated me in the past
I think of how you feel and only this can last.

If I were a better man I may have seen it sooner.
If I weren't such a fool I'd never have done many things,.
When I see things in the clear light of a brand new day
I see your ice-blue eyes and angel- wings
chris
1/26/10
Tampa Fla,,

In My Dream

In my dream it was war,
It was death,it was gore.
Mothers prayed for their children..
Their children died
Their mothers cried.

In my dream it was a great fight.
And they died
To lay on the landscape blood red.
In the homeland they cherished
They faught and they perished.
Now their freedom is won
'Cause they're dead.

In my dream it was ending
Computers were sending missiles
To kill all the land.
No place to hide
As the bombs hit world-wide
For I dreamed the extinction of man.
9/26/81
Chicago

I Shall Inherit The Wind

I shall inherit the wind,
Face the bastard within
Serve the friend of no friend in the end.

I've taken too many lives let me die
Let me lay with the corpses on the green mountain-side.
I shall inherit the wind.

In precarious situations I abide
Worshiping hardship with no conscience applied.
Eating glass with both hands,sipping fire
On through the razor-blades swimming in mire.

Give me pain by the bushell,
Just pave my way,,,,With the bones of my madness
'Till the first light of day breaks my skull.


I shall deride all the reasons for peace
Blast out the lungs from the neck to the knees.
I shall defend only defenceless disease.
I shall inherit the wind in the trees.
,,,,,,,,,,,,Oh Please.
2/16/00

With This Vessell

With this vessel we shall slip many a shore.
Chart numerous new destinations.
Stand laughing and smiling
While drinking many an exotic drink of our choice.

With this vessel we shall be ourselves again
Find things that amuse us while we amuse ourselves .
Only a vessel is all that I crave .
A way to escape all the madness that man has created.

Through the still slippery night of the oceon's kissing wet
With this vessel giving forgiveness to miles behind us .
Anythings possible and noone can find us,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, Ever again.
Many things to remember but nothing to ever forget.
With this vessel.
chris
1/7/10

Time Bomb

Time bomb, she's my little bity ticking time bomb

I'm gone 'cause she blew me away.
She's blonde , she's my tiny winney hot blonde
OH MOM!!!!! Is all I can say.

12/06/09
T/c

I See Your Face

I see your face in the flames of the firelight.
And smiling with love on this sad heart of mine.
Words I have spoken that I would love to retract.
Just saying I'm sorry won't bring you back.

In the night of my sorrow I look for the smile
That has kept this fool going for mile after mile.
But I can't hear you voice or your laugh so sublime.
And I miss your soft hand held so tightly in mine.

I suppose that you hate me and the blame takes my soul.
Seems I'm ever to blame and believe me I know.
So the next time I see you may be in the night.
In another body and some other life.
But I can still see your face in the flames of the firelight
Just holding me close for a time.

Years that have past like the ashes remain
Like a black and white picture with a crimson stain.
As the flames crackle softly in the silence of the dark.
I keep your soft touches in the recesses of my heart.

For the tears that I cry cannot dampen this flame
And it seems to me the sea-birds sing softly your name.
On this very spot where you moaned in sweet desire
I can still see your face.
See your face in the fire.
11/28/09

Without your touch I am reduced.

Dreams Of Fair Winds And Good Voyage

Dreams of fair winds and good voyage come sullen and often
In the still steel grey dawn of mornings land-locked.
Wishing for feet to slide on the deck of some ship
That carries me by the breeze to some far flung foreign dock.

With a sword at my hip and the willing wind I slip
In the stories of old truth and lore.
Where mariners strayed back in those days to fight dragons
And they live forevermore.

I dream of fair wind and not coming back again
True love to rememeber that is lost.
Fair maidens of blonde and the shores far beyond
to live wild and pay a heavy cost.

As I stand on the bow and hear her somehow
Over wave by wave league by league calling me.
But stronger the alure of of the oceaons azure
And the strong and sweet song of the sea.


Then dreams of fair winds and good voyage again
Tempts the very soul that is in me.
Though she tried with her wares to keep me soft there
Only love for the sea is within me.

11/24/09
T&C

Paper Boat

Never did I amagine I could,for you ever care
But now I find myself wishing to see a love
Who's never there.

I sail a paper boat of hope
And pray the wind will guide me back to your port
But this sailor's a failure
And the wind blows from the north,,,,,Of course!!

Standing at the wheel I sometimes feel
The slightes and smallest of gusts.
There in my captain's chair I shirk the dispair
Then kick myself for my folly of trust.

Sail or swim, my prosect's thin
And night my only friend.
By the stars with Jupiter and mars
I tack but see no end.

Land Ho! I dream Will I slip this stream
And guided by Posiodon I think
I may just see a light-house off in the distance.
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,But paper boats ,,,Always sink.
11/14/09
Tampa

The Night} My first poem ever. Dedicated to Walt Whitman and Ms. Erickson my english teacher.

The night, like a deep dark sea
Grasping with cold grey fingers
Tries to draw the life from me.
Then from the darkness comes a sound
But when I search,,,,,,
Nothings found.
Could it be my fear concieved
The danger in which I so believed?
Was not the darkness that I could see
But darkness bound inside of me.
7/1/78
Wilmington IL

With Eggs

There is pride dancing on the water
And the smell of mountain in the air.
Rocks that turn the current for now
But next year won't be there.
Butterflies and watercress
And many steelhead trout.
You'd have to be here
No movie could take you there
Or show the soul just what it's about.
Sun upon the cotten-woods
Shadows of clouds drift by.
A softshell turtle takes my bait
So breakfast if turtle stir-fry,,
With eggs.
7/22/09
Idaho Springs Co.

Right There By My Side

Listening for your footfalls in the sleepless watches of the night.
And stars that shimmer remind me of our summer
But those lights don't seem to shine so bright.

Honey in your hair, and honey dripping softly thru our passion incursion
Listening for your footfalls remembering our joining and nothing offers true diversion

I while away the hours on the cusp of lovely
Blue light from your eyes
You're the angel floating softly at my window
wicked temptress at the same time lovely bird of paradise.

As your petals open softly I am lost in
Bath of your velvet pleasure
I smile to see the honest giving, taking and natural love making in greatest measure.

Listening for your footfalls in the sleepless hours of the night.
And I smoke as daylight breaks with all your beauty right there by my side.
9/19/09

Bitter Sweet Ambrosia

She holds him close and knows she'll never Hold him.

Takes his darkness deep inside her heart.

Know she heals him just a little with her tenderness

And aches so very much when they're apart.

As he sweats on her she's happy.....for the moment.

Love is pain. In extasy she smiles.

She can never understand this wild attraction.

Only glad she holds him for a while.

She'll wonder where the hell he is tomorrow.

Tell herself he loved her without sin.

Meanwhile he is lying with another.

Good girs always think they're gonna win,

The bad boy.

Fighting in a bar he takes a bullet

In one side but then goes out the other.

Another scar but he forgets which number,

Jumps on a bike and heads for the hills with his brothers.

Drinking in the mountains he remembers

How she kissed his wounds the last time he was hurt.

Yeah he'll act all tough but really it's bluff.

The wounds really ache and suddenly he misses her.......... So Much.

But good girls always deeply love their bad boys.

Help them to the bed when they can't walk.

And every now and then he'll let his guard down

.............................................and talk.

It terrifies her when he tells the stories.

She listens with a tremble in her heart

And wonders why she loves a man so evil.

When he leaves it simply tears her world apart.

Now he's on the road and taking chances.

Knows this next one just might be his last,,he laughs.

But he lives for the fights, and the mountains at night, and living fast.

He calls her from a pay-phone in....."Wherever".

He can only talk to her a while.

She hears some woman laugh and it just cuts her in half

As tears replace her sleepy mid-night smile.

Good girls always try to save the bad guys

But bad boys don't want saving, they crave sin.

He may be dead tomorrow and it fills her heart with sorrow.

She knew she'd played a game she couldn't win.

Now he wishes he could call and talk it over

But every time it always ends the same.

It hurts them both so much, this bitter sweet ambrosia.

Little angels love to touch the flame.

.from Rodeo

7/28/09

denver

It's All I Know

Part 1

An open letter to those who do not understand my roaming heart.


And I am asked why I MUST travel. Why I must Go.
Those that love me have always been saddened by my leaving.
I've had them actually hang onto my leg while I dragged them. I've had to run.I've had to sneak out..That is best. No big scene that way and they can't talk or cry me out of it.That was always temporary anyway.
I 've had them burn our pictures, throw away the stuff I left. Shoot at me, call my parents and friends, you name it. I've seen it.......................... It can get ugly.
Because it hurt them they took it as a affront to our relationship.
{In Answer}

I do not know or understand anything else. I have always been as terrified of staying as they were of my leaving. I have never had a time where I learned how to stay. No, I'm not searching for anything. From a child of seven I have traveled extensively. I do not know if it was only that I wanted to but the fact that I always seemed to be wanted (needed) elsewhere and forced to go.
In any event IT is all that I learned. IT became Me ........I guess.
As I said , it is all I learned so sitting still for very long makes me feel out of place.No Matter where it is.
I do not mean to hurt anyone by saving myself.

Deep inside it always seems like they want to hurt (change) me by holding me back (down).

Especially when they knew the deal from the begining.And they always have. I don't lie about it.

I start to go crazy. I say things I do not mean. I shatter relationships in defence of saving "me".

It is subliminal.If I stay to long I start to feel and act wrong. I really cannot help it. I feel betrayed if they say "stay with me" but they won't "Come With Me".

Am I running away? No! I'm trying to stay........Stay where I've always been and that's, (Everywhere).

To all that I have loved and left especially one, I apologize for staying true to myself.

Please forgive me and I'll try to forgive all of you for trying to make me leave where I've always been content. The world.

Part 2

No I'm not searching for anything.

I have always had everything that I needed .......Inside Me.

From the time I first remember I have been OK with everything. I've never been jealous of anyone.Never wanted to be like anyone except maybe Walt Whitman. Never cared what anyone thought of me in my personal or professional life.

It is just that I cannot stay sane for long in a box. I know what I need no matter who understands it.

I bear the scars of my travels and so called adventures, Myself. I cary the weight of guilt for abandoning the so called safety of caring hearts. But much heavier is the pain of molding and wrotting away in stagnation. I even loose the need to write.

{" Maybe I wasn't born to roam but it's all I know as home"./w/moscow 1991}

I believe a person should always do what they are best at and makes them happy. Anything else is to waist a life.

It is all that I know and all I can do. As simple as that. I can't relate to anything else so, hate me if you will...

From the bottom of my heart these words are true.. You're writer your friend

Rodeo

7/28/09

Free again

Verse 1}

A Strange thing happens when you find you're free again.
Youre wings feel so heavy but then you feel the wind.
Like years of a struggle you saw as worthwhile vanish
Either cry or smile ... I choose to smile
Verse 2}

You thought you'd found peace which turned into pain
Feeling so cold inside,,, But it's the clear clean rain
That washes you clean of every smudge and stain..
I don't even care that it all was in vain./

Let it wash away heart-break, cleanse all the hurt
The love was a lie all along.
When you find you're free of all of the misery
You'll sit down like I did ....And maybe write a song.
But be strong ... baby be strong !!!!!!!!!!!.

Chorus}

Free again all the world's suddenly blue.
No more hearing "Youre awful" " I wish you'd Die" "....I hate you"
Free again,,,, sometimes goodby's are new skies..
She can't hurt you any mor with her cold blue eyes.

Deep inside flowers bloom from the ashes
You've survived hell and pain suddenly passes.
Let the wind blow through , new flowers to find
No longer a toy but a man again inside. How I love life
RIDE, YEAH BABY RIDE!!!!!!>

Verse 3}

With a heart full of joy find life is to win. Live in the sunshine again
Free again free again. I can breath again.
I'm not unhappy because I'm free again..
Hey cutie What's your name,,, Plaese don't say mary!!!!!!!!
Free again hahahahahahahahahah freeee again!!!
{back to chorus}
7/21/09

My Angel

My angel has guided me through the darkest of nights
Saved my life so many times that I thought I should say thank you...
Poor tortured soul to have me to look over.

I Dream

I dream the future.
I've seen the past.
I feel my face is but a mask
Placed upon some obscure prop
Serving no purpose
Imploying no task
And my heart is just beating until it can stop.
2/12/86 ft laud'

Painted Desert

Heard the whisper of the breeze through the willows near the setting of the sun
And the moanful howl of the loansome wolf
When the glow had finnaly faded and the crickets song begun.

About a mile past broken arrow in the painted desert out west
Where we stopped to pitch the tent at Painther's Cry.
In the full moon of the Scorpion on the mesa known as skull
It was only God and sky and her and I.

We had opened blue tequilla, ate peote' by the button.
For the vision pure and clear we'd set our minds
In the mid-night's moon-light's madness in the star-light of the west
I saw the devil's daughter dancing on the sky.

She was wearing only moon-beams , just dripping honey.
She beguiled me with the desert and it's psychodelic peaks.
There was nothing I could be so she took me to my knees.
As I pondered haunting, dark soliliques.

When the whispers of the spiders had cresendoed
And the rancid dream of demons faded below me
I was blinded by the vision given me by such derision
As my little Cuban skeezer bent to blow me..
Heard the whisper of the breeze , Saw her standing on her knees.
In the biblical sence she finally came to know me......
RITE THERE IN THE DIRTY PAINTED DESERT!
5/26/04 flagstaff

Time

Time,Oh Precious Friend of mine, do me one favor.
Be kind.

Hours which pass over lengthening shadows
Won't you delay your passing so slight
That we may enjoy the depths and the shallows
In the beauty of lifes passing light ?

Irrodescent and sparkeling like harps, ever heartening
Won't you play in the moments that stand ?
Be almost solid , time as you move , Never frolick
Keep the wrinkles and spots from our hands.

Bless us with patience, bestow on us friendship
Give us the light of your soul.
That we may absorb you with dextorous worship
Till the fire of life has grown cold.
chicago /82/

When The Wind

When the wind comes whisteling through the trees
And winter unfolds her blanket of freeze
Your name shall be carried on the breeze
As the night brings whispers like quiet moans
And I'm feeling forgotten and all alone
I shall picture your face therefore anywhere's home.

In the stillness of midnight on these long weary roads
Our hearts are the wheels which carried the load.
Bound by feelings clear and strong yet no inclination of where I belong

When the wind comes whisteling and it's colder than death
I shall live for your touch.................. with each misty breath.
2/24/88 Russia.

If I Show You

Through the fish-eyed lens of tear-stained eyes

I can barely define the shape of this moment in time.

I'm far from flying high in clear blue skies.

I'm spiraling down to the hole in the ground where I hide.

If you negotiate the mindfield in my mind

And beat the dogs and cheat the cold electronic eyes

And if you make it past the shotguns in my heart

Dial the combination ,, open my black hole

And if I live I'll tell you ALL.

I'm a kid who had a big imagination , Making love to girls in magazines.

.

I wonder If your'e sleeping with your new found strength.

Could anybody love me or is it just a crazy dream?

Thought I aughta' share my naked feelings

Thought I aughta' tear the curtain down.

I held the blade in trembling hands prepared to make it but just then the phone rang. I never had the nerve to make the final,,,CUT.

I Hope I wasn't dreaming.

How I hope I haven't been a clown.

So I Laid down my armor , Showed you my dark side What did you do?

If I had opened my heart to you showed you my weak side what would ya do?

Would you sell your story to Rolling Stone?

Would you take your nuture away,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,?,,,,,,,,,,,,,and leave me alone?

And smile in reassurance as you whisper down the phone?

Would you send me packing? ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,Or would ya take me home ?

From the never perfect and often wrong >RODEO.

Love A Paradise

She gazed at me with vacant eyes
Through holes in my soul I never knew I had.
A hint of maybe acusation
Mixed with love, confusion, and the sad.
And my heart still aches to this day.
Quiet rage and inner anger
In the blue that is her eyes
A storm of fury ,a forest fire kendled
And took from me the preposterous hope of
 Finding love a paradise.

3/25/09

Now Darkness, Now Pain.

verse I}

Pretty little lillies burned by a flame thrower.
Lovely blonde hair that makes me want to cry.
Sweet blue eyes that tear the heart from me.
Every single memory tears the stars from the sky.

chorus.} Now Darkness now darkness now pain {x's 3}

VII}Give me a boquet of agony wrapped in pansies.
Don't take away the sweetness that you gave with unbridled toture.
And true honesty given with much regret,.......... MY SWEETNESS.

{chorus}

Standard punishement now so commom it hurts so much less
AND SO MUCH MORE>>
Pretty little scab!! pretty little scab!! pretty little scab!!
Hurtful eyes that have an agenda
And so you would claim all of our love was in vain.
And vanity lost is vanity gained.

Pretty little punisher pretty little punisher pretty
{spoken}-"Little punisher"-

Fat with seeds of deciept I can't hurt and deeper
I cry like a seeder
Youre punishing me with the grace of a bloody meat claever
Your'e an honest deciever... Now darkness now darkness ...
-{spoken}-"As always,,,,,,, pain"-
3/23/09 R.

Rodeos kind of fishing

CLICK ON PHOTO FOR PICT'S OF OUR LAST FISHING TRIP

ClICK ON PHOTO TO INLARGE

ON THE SEA YOU'LL FIND ME

I'm a man of the canyons and wide open spaces you've never even seen walk thru
Lately it seems I'm a man only of my own dreams
Over water falls jumping like the sure footed cherokee.
I just wanna scream once in a while.
White water calls me,screams out to me in my dreams,
Haunts my very existance it seems .
The Yellow-Fork and the French Broad they becheach me at night
saying rodeo "Don't forget me, I'm still trecherous ,I'm still raging .
Don't get to old to let me try to kill you again.
"Bring your old bones. Try my hard stones
I'll give you a pass if you just bring your scared sorry ass."
Just put it in the wind you will never be my enemy
You've never been anything but a friend .
I sleep in deserts ,I breathe the dust ,I thrive on the misery and drink up the lust
.......... Of destruction .
On the sea you'll find me .In the night I can sleep without fear.
May the bringer of sorrow remember me tomorrow because at night
Every thing seems so much clearer....
Every moment is now ,every breath is all we can hold.
Never forget that to whine is to regret.
But the instant is all we hold.
I'm a fiend of extreme and an ever fading dream and on the sea or desert you
May find me .
But wherever I go I know in my heart I know.
No rules or preconceptions ever set forth can bind me.
7/24/08
Big sky Montana

I Am The Stone

I am the Stone that so many
have broken themselves against
Unyielding Barrier, Swollen River, Iron Fence

It's Like A Vicious Spider

It's like a vicious spider
It's like a vicious spider made of ice
is climbing the web of my heartstrings tonight
closer and closer to closing up my throat
I feel it's spiney legs catch at the tendons
of what used to be my hope.

Slowly it rises and deep dowm I know
soon it's fangs will drop their posion
and all of my lonliness will creshendoe
oh my lonely soul.

Creeping creeping it's sinking in
you're not coming cause you're not
dying for me like i'm dying for you
no. you're just sleeping again.

This vicious spider has been growing
and growing since it hatched from
the egg that I swallowed
when I fell in love with you
Now I must wallow in quiet dark rage
I've held it so long and it's grown so strong
with age.

I'm hopeless and helpless
and greater and greater
this terrible terrible sight
now it's full grown and a spider
of it's own
and me like a fool I keep thinking
that thoses are your car lights
coming to kill the spider
and take me home.
oh what a fool
like all the other fools I've known

and it hurts so much worst
to think i'm denied you
not because of
someone elses company
you've chosen to keep.
no. no other man
or ulterior plan
no i've been put in second place
to good old warm charming sleep

Yo, you're sleepy so I must be dopey
another friday alone

Rodeo
10-24-08
10:30 pm starbucks

I Dare Not Say

I dare not say
I dare not say
what eyes like yours tell me
unspoken words say more to me
than anything out loud
and greater things disclose themselves
in my solilaquies

You're The one

You're the one that can see
Far back in my eyes
Hold me like a cotton comforter
Yet boil with such heat
Like a sun in the distant night
Way down in my soul you made
Me Tingle
And relit a flame that
Had almost died
In your warm embrace
I see love on your face
And a passion that can
Never subside

Now For The Nightmare

Won't you join me in a nightmare?
A dream of terror we can share.
For secret fears and anguish deep
Visit nightly as I sleep .
So lie with me in my bed for there we'll visit all the dead.
From times before they dwelled on earth

And raised all hell from day of birth.

You see my wicked imagination

and all your torture my satisfaction.

For in my dreams our love is fright

As screaming demons fill the night

As hell seems near you'll cry and shake

When terror grows close you pray to awake.

But never to mind, too late little doll.

We'll possess you all in all.

We'll sing those songs to chill your spine.

And all your soul is ours and mine.

For in my dark are vicious mauraders.

We market in mayhem and danger.

To tamper with secrets of dark meditation .

Are you sorry that you talked

To a stranger?

When hands grow close you cry and shake

as teeth near your breast you shall pray to awake.

So I shake you a little .

You find it's all in your heard .

You go to squeeze me tightly .

Find you're tied to the bed ... Ha HA HA ...

NOW FOR THE NIGHTMARE>>>>>>>>hahahahahahahahahahah.

Chris.6/1880

kankakee Ill

Lord I Want To Thank You

Lord I want to thank you for the fact that I'm still free.

That I wake up every morning to the sunshine

And that I have my health and my liberty

To do as I wish despite all the crimes I've commited.

Heavenly father please help not to be so proud

Of all you've allowed me to get away with and escape

Sweet rose of sharon I must say out loud

I should be in prison for 10 thousand years and at least 50 times dead

The time I feel is long past for me pen this prayer

You've saved me from wild dogs , gators, bears, sharks,

And people who many times Tried to take this mother's son's life.

Praise be your name Lord !!

On the battle fields raging ,fearless with bloodlust

And sometimes cringing from the blasts.

When I first had to fire on those firing on me

I prayed, Jesus I hope this soon passes

On highways in the night when I left behind body peices mixed with the steel.

When I'd walk away stunned from the blood and the gore

Numbed but not to numb to feel.

The presence of my angel

Oh bright and morning star everywhere is where you are.

And even just fishing three different times

Alongcame the reaper to searve as my keeper

But you didn't let him take my life.

I tell them it's you Lord, Your angel and his sword

Many say I'm lucky but fools don't instruct me.

Luck is like finding 20 dollars.

I am surrounded by your grace in every day in every way

You're the Lion of Judah and the God of our Fathers

Who saves us everyday Thank you in earnest

Oh bless you my maker and my savior

Who always guides me right through live bullets and bombs

and the poison.

Sweet jesus who stays right beside me.

Please bless thosee that bless me and curse thosee that curse me.

Let me always remember your grace.

I know that i'm no good but still you redeem me

As I run to the roar everyday.

10/25/08 orlando

10-3-08

A System Ran By Numbers

My heart goes out to these people here asleep .

I am in jail working in the sick ward.

I know some of these souls are

Locked here for keeps

And I pray, oh my lord, oh my lord!

Where's the mercy anymore in this world?

Most of the guards hate these men.

They treat them like trash

And throw away the extra food.

God in heaven knows it's a sin.

When will it end?

My heart goes out because I'll be

Leaving here soon

While they stay locked away

All jails are hell and so like tombs

they can't even see the moon

or the sun in the day.

God help the lost souls I pray.

And their victims as well

May the peace we all seek

Someday come

Is it fair for a man to

Hurt another man?

Is it also right to lock him away

and be done?

My heart goes out though some are

Vicious beasts

What made them the way

that they are?

and what caused the police

to hate those they see

and stand judgement

with a cold callas heart?

I ask you.

The system is broken let this serve

as a token

Whats done without god is cold

man knows no truth and

justice isn't served

by a system ran by numbers

and not souls

10-1-08

orlando cnty jail.

Somewhere

I see a seabird as he dives into the sea.... He's caught a fish
Again he rises high into the sky....Water glistening as it falls from his wings
It brings to mind so many things
Now I stand on a mountain as the sun comes over the peaks
Shafts of piercing sunlight cut through breaks in the trees
And on my face I feel the breeze....
It's now sundown in the desert. I see the heat rise off the sand.
Little creatures scurry around playing savage games
Life and death are decided in terrifying smallness
But the beauty is there..............Somewhere

Good-By

A slow rain is falling and I can just see the moon, it reminds me of the wonderful and sad times
That I have had the last two and a half years with you.
The drizzle of rain makes a sound on the leaves of beautiful sea-side palm trees
We walked down this lane hand in hand hundreds of times, you and me
A drizzle so slow and so somber makes me think how our love faded slowly to gray.
In terrible fashion for such unabated passion that came on so slowly
Then burned so brightly and then like the beginning to slowly fade sadly away.
Bio con dios, Dusba- dunya , Caio! Ariva derci', and "God Bless"
I miss many things that I have loved in my life and now in this catalog I place your kiss.

If you can remember that precious December when we made love all month long.
Then try to replace the look on my face when I realized that all had gone wrong
At the gas station.

A slow rain is falling and the sea-birds are calling
Like those nights when the ocean glowed blue.
As I walk down this lane my tears mix with the rain
And I know that I shall always love and remember you.
How the palm fronds in the breeze, dancing in the cloudy moonlight
Remind me of your blond hair in the wind.
When I hear the traffic and turn my head out of habit
To think you're coming back again.
It shall always bring a tear to my eye.
If I could but love you a million more times
Then maybe blue eyes i could tell you good-by

When the waves turn to white where the breakers boil flat
And slide up to kiss the soft sand
I will ever recall your cute toes so small and the soft cool touch of your hand.
The rain is falling softly and the stars through the clouds
Scream out to tell me ......... DON"T GO !!
That love is forever and never surrender.
And the sea just doesn't want to know.

The drizzle continues to whisper so softly like the touch of your hair on my face
And you grew it long for me Back when I was your fantasy.
Now what new dream can ever take it's place?
And what image of love can ever replace, you and me?
My tears taste so bitter and the ocean is raging.
My heart like an anchor dropped so deep.
Down to the sea bed it plunges the depths
With the fridged and the dead where they sleep.

What hell has created a force cold as freon to chill what was hotter than flame ?
As the pain of our passion once soft as cotton
Now cuts like a razor.......When I hear your name.
If only to hold you and weep like the willow.
One more time will you please kiss my eyes ?
If i could but love you a million more times ....then maybe I could tell you ...........
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,GOOD BY.
9.21.08

Far and Ever Fleeting

Far and never fleeting are the fanities of youth.

Rich is my knowledge,poisoned by the truth.

Send My Bones To Capastrano and my soul toward the wind.

I may ever haunt this vestage, dirt shall eat me in the end.

Fortunes seldom realized and anguish the pound,leave my body for the vultures

DO NOT PUT ME IN THE GROUND।

Now the solace of spirit left to ride the trades' for 'ere

Lifts me up upon her shoulders,brings me ever from dispair.

As the far and ever fleeting dream of loves serenity

Proves herself to be a lonely huntress ,hiding high up in the trees.

I with reservation take the safer path of flight

And shall I share my passion with the coldness of the night?

Recoiling from a bite of truth she strikes again with fear.

The far and ever fleeting spirit whispers softly on my ear.

A voice I find familiar , hear it every time I pray says

"To die is not to perish,

No... it's just to take the pain away."

6/8/86

Madrid Spain.

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