THESE WORDS I WRITE ARE SENT TO ME FOR YOU

Rodeosshow is the writings of Lance Martinelli
Known by several names, Rodeo being but one.

Welcome To The Rodeo Show All my poems for the world to see...
Just channeling words from the other side
Colors, Truths and Mere Speculation
Fall by the wayside

If you take my hand
You'll have my mind as well.
Welcome to the Rodeo Show

Welcome to the Rodeo Show

Welcome to the Rodeo Show

12/7/12

That's Me


I've been trippin I've been slippin. I've been doing everything
everybody a;ways dreamed that they would do/
On a wild roller coaster since the day that I left home
and by the miraculous grace of God i've made it through.

When the forces of the enemy inclose my soul with hopeless doom
and chopping jaws to chew my bones
I fight with all my might and have the scars to say Im right
So only Jesus mercy ever saw me safely home.

When everybody begs to listen to the stories of the way I've
raged the face of this crazy world.
I tell them that if I brag its on the Lord but with a smile
I gotta say that I love every minute of the battles
And I fight for all Im worth.

I've been flaming. I've been flying, I've been fighting while
Im crying in the pouring rain and blowing blizzards
of the north.
God has let me crash on mountains, wreak on highways, bounce
down ditches, flipped in the woods, so on and on and so forth.

Still each new sunrise so blows my mind and so surprised
To wake up in some country and had forgotten I was there.
I may not know where I am half the time
and the other half Im twice as sure that I dont care.

I've been sailing, I've been failing, I've been everywhere on my
way to being nothing at all over and over again.
I dont care if Im not here and I dont mind if everybody
minds their own business and leaves me right the hell alone
in the wind.

And it always hurts later when the bullet hits the bone.
But nothing hurts quite like a betrayal of a friend.

I've put out my thumb and i've put down my foot
I've picked up a clue or two on my way to nowhere
the long way around.
If the phone doesn't ring then it may just be me and my
thing. Loosing my way on this care free highway Ive found.

If Im not making sense Its just my way of saying that you
probably wont get my point anyway.
But if you see what I mean on the lines in between
Then thank God someone gets what the hell Im trying
my least not to say.

And all these (I's) and (me's) which may seem that Im full
of myself and that I see the world revolving around me
Im just talking to myself or do I mean myself and nobody
else cause I never take myself that seriously.

All this gobleldegoor Im like a fluke or Suese
and Im confusing the pubic wherever I roam
Searching one horse towns for the ultimate showdown
all by myself but never quite alone.

I've been thrown. I've been blown, I've been licked and kicked
by what for damn sure is the best of them.
Seen more then my share, done more than most dare
standing out like a sore thumb from the rest of them.

Too many times told its the end of the line and my
mother quit taking these calls in the night
When the doctor would say
'Im sorry to tell you mam, but your sons gonna die"
she says 'You cant kill him.  I've had this call many times
Tell him I love him and Good day." 

I've been sad but true, I've been black and blue
Taken by land and by sea.
Been up many nights just scribbling lines that when I
found them later I found hard to believe were by me.

Im still on my rant, Cant be told that I cant
Think I took a wrong turn on the highway to hell
Will you jump out and charge and taste the world at large
or just like the maulers lie safe in your shell?

To most I seen strange cause I've ridden the range and
Im from the way back and rough
Slipping and sliding, peeping and hiding and Im not stopping
until I've had enough.

So say a quick prayer for me Im not so much mystery as
always breaking all of the rules that I can.
You better look fast cause this surely cant last.
And I sure as hell must be a flash in the pan.

Im busy getting dizzy so dont have a hissy Im doing what
What all of you wish you could do.
I am just what I am so why should I give a damn
And I haven't got time to feel sorry for you.
Im sorry.

But I dont recommend you try it my friend because
My very next fight may end in a fireball while you
live safely and vicariously
I do as I wish by fife or by fist and someone's gotta
answer the call
And thats me.

Chris 
12.7.12 TX

P.S. I can fuck me up all by myself
I dont need any help.....
but world....thanks for trying

11/30/12

They


They tell me I should walk the line.......
i won't/
They said that I should give a shit.......
I dont
They say that I should worry about 
The way I live my life
They told me there's a price to pay
By God, they didn't lie.

They say that I'm no good
I know it's true
I go and always seem to do
Just what the hell I want to do
They say that I should be ashamed
I am not!
They try to tell me 'Take it easy"
All I can say is ....'WHAT?"

Many have tried to tell me many times
saying stand and wait your turn.
I haven't done that one damn time.
They say I shouldn't take more than I leave.
And a whole bunch other shit
i cannot bring myself to believe.
Well I say 'Take and ye shall receive"

They tell me I will reap just what I sow
I'm the one who pays the price.
how could they ever think I don't know?

All my scars add up to all my wrongs.
All my wild-ass ways are paid in blood
as I go on and on.
They preach to me the wage of sin is high.
i pay a pound of flesh most blazing days 
and crazy nights.

i won't stop till I'm wore down to a bloody nuh
I will cease my raging only when I've had enough
They have their list of (Don't's)
but so few (Do's)
What they call madness I call every day news.
They want me to live by their old rules.

Yes, they call me a crazy bastard.
And I just call them tools.
I can't hear their lecture when I'm running on full blast
If they can't see my point of view
Well, They can kiss my ass.

I'm doing just what I've always wanted to
I pay the price to roll these dice
And hell to [ay the dues.
When morning comes and I am done
and smoke may fill the air
Then I've had a good run. No wishing i had had fun.
By the fire in an old rocking chair

I'm from the way back and rough
And when I've had enough

I'll not be the one to despair.
their words were just a waste of precious air.
chris 11.30.12 TX

11/29/12

Free


I know there's no going back to all the places I've been
Also I know I can't remember everything I have seen
But still there lives inside of me an encyclopedia of glory and grace
For so much grandeur have i beheld in this life with these eyes
From beauty to gore and everything in between.

I have stood alone in places crowds would fear to fill
Between my cradle and my grave down highways in the night
Nothing to be gained by just standing still
And no battle was ever won without a fight.

When letting the wind so fill my sails, I'm pulled ever onward again
To the end of the line I must dash one more time
I would surely go crazy without some risk of danger
And this game won't be over until I win.

There may be no return for the bridge may have burned
and the swim may just then be my last.
but the hunger in my soul has always pushed me to go
never satisfied to say any journey was my last.

So when laid up or broken up or locked away for offenses
against some line on a paper that constitutes law
You won't hear me whining. I've got my own silver lining
And when I can't touch it I can still taste, smell, hear and see it all.

I'm as free as a bird even when held in a cage
and my soul still flies on the wind
I love all my scars. They're my souvenirs and friends
and the wild wide world has always been my stage.

You cannot lay me by when my spirits free to fly
All the world I have seen with these eyes
If you love me for now then that's all there is
I am as free as the clouds in the sky.

So don't cry for me and only keep me in your prayers
because by God I'll be better one more time.
If it's a place I haven;t seen then look for me there
And know they cannot lock up my mind.
Chris 
11/29/12 TX

9/12/12

Freedumb

You're only free if you're dumb.
No one is free any more from
slavedom.
You must pay one way or the
other.
You've been told you're free to
do as you wish.
What a crock of shit.
You're not allowed to just sleep
where you want.
Can't lay down on any land you
haven't bought.
You can't drive without
that license.
What a bunch of nonsense.
If you can't pay for food
you can't kill your own meat.
So you are not even free to eat.
They have made it so that if you
hear the word free
You know there is some sort of
hidden fee..
We are not free in any shape or
form
And you dummies who pay for
freedom
have sold your sole to
conform..
It's a freakin joke to me but so
sad to see the truth.
These government standards
they say are good for you.
Only free in you're dumb and
believe in their definition
of freedom.
What's so free about
freedom?

Chris 9/3/12

8/20/12

Now That I Cry

As a younger man I loved to break
their hearts in little shattered pieces.
Made me feel so powerful from city
to city with the bands that I toured with.
It was always so easy.

Even though I can still take what I want,
I find along the way stories of destroyed
and shelled out lives that I have left behind
in those days and now that I can cry I wish
I hadn't lived that way.

Nobody knows better how the miles take their
toll than I do for the lonely hours that I've spent.
And the tears now held back come down in
waterfalls now that I hear about the things that I did.

Now that I can cry I try to hold it back
and tell myself that I was just young.
I was a soldier and traveler tearing up
what ever would come.

But in the late quiet hours the tears come in
showers and sleep wont come till dawn.
And Im still on this road and I carry
this load on and on.

Now that I can cry every tear from my eyes
couldn't equal half the pain that I have left in their minds.
If cried a hundred years it wouldn't add up to the misery
I must have left behind.
Aw hell nevermind.

Chris 7/13/12

A Function

A function of this crazy life is
just to live through the given day.
Another thing that people dont
understand is how the hell I have
somehow have found a way.
Well I dont know.

Fight and fight and lay down when
you have the chance.
Just don't try to be anybody else cause
someone else would not know how
you know how to dance.

A function of living is by a system that
you have figured out yourself.
Whatever has gotten you this far might
never be any further help.

The only way is to adapt and by that
simple adaption survive.
Because by the way the only way to achieve
this function is to find some way
to stay alive.

Chris 7/18/12




7/31/12

These Seeds I've Sown

I have stood alone in places 
Crowds would fear to fill.
And I have looked on many a face
Which sent my heart a chill.
Still I continue in my quest
To put my spirit to the test
'Cause if ya got no guts you'll get no glory
All adventures have their stories.
A thousand nights I've spent alone
Upon the road to these seeds I've Sown.
Chris 8/6/09

Who Cares For The Traveler But Jesus?

Who cares for the traveler but Jesus?
On long weary roads in the white-line domain
It may seem like the black-top won't end.
It can feel like life is lonely till I see all the stars
And I remember all the places that I've been.
And say Thank You to Jesus... my friend.
It's a myriad of terrors or a garden of glory
Depending on how you look at things.
I've survived so much horror and still
Have happy stories to sing.
Only by his grace did I ever see new places
And still be in less than two pieces.
Who cares for the traveler....  But Jesus???
Chris 7/30/12


Wait For Me

There she lays in that bronze plated casket
The little girl I played with at home.
She'll be lowered down soon to molder
in the grave and turn to bone.

I wanna shake her and by somehow
awaken her and tell her let's go out and play.
Get up little baby... Don't act so lazy
We can just up and run away.

But now the violins are playing and
some bastard is praying
And they're closing the lid on your life.
The last time I'll carry you
Is to take you and bury you.

I kissed you and told you good-night.
Please wait for me in the light.


Chris 7/30/12 

7/30/12

The Storm

The storm has finally ended
and it's time to travel on.
But I will miss this place that for
the last two days I have called my home.
Just an old time roof and old straw,
I still smell the beasts
And I like them took shelter from the
storm beneath these craggy eves.

Chris 7/12 
Abbyvie MS.


Here Lies Me

Here lies me.....somewhere in the middle of no where again. 
A traveler off on a lark like a fish in the sea or a bird on the wind.
Wherever I am, I am just about to be 
in another place soon. 
I lay down my bones on this road I call home.
And try to send out some words that are true.
The sun has gone down and there is beauty all around.
How I wish for my readers to see 
What the world really means deep down in the seams. 
And how it feels to just sleep on the ground.


Chris 
4/18/12 Tupelo MS

7/17/12

The Cow-boy sleeps by the fire


The cowboy smokes his cigarette and
Flips the butt into the fire.
Darkness reigns and the coyotes sing as
Unknown things expire..

He’s been mending fences and
Killing rattlesnakes.
The life of a loner and nomad.
He don’t smell so good but he’s a good man.

Off in the distance a stone that has held for millennia
Gives way and tumbles down a spire.
His horse whinnies softly in the cool night air.. . . . . . 
And the cowboy sleeps by the fire.
Chris
6/14/06
Tampa Bay

7/16/12

A Leaf Is Always Falling


A leaf is always falling in the woods.
Some may fall from happenstance and
others for the trees own good.
But down they flutter into rock or gutter,
 life is just a season.
They seem to me to represent all
 that has rhyme and reason.

A leaf is always falling in the woods.
They stand for hope and peace and
 many things may never be understood.
Some are spinning wildly like the days I’ve lived till now.
Others floating tranquil.
All go back to the earth anyhow.

Others truck down violently when the sky is given sound.
Like pine needles driven from their bows to pierce
the flooding ground..
A leaf is always forming in the woods.
As others wither and die
It’s all for the mothers own good.
I listen. I hear them whisper as quietly they descend.
There is beauty to be seen in the brown and the green
and beginnings have always to end.
On the forest floor of evermore
 The story as plain as can be.
 Our lives are the same through he joy and the pain.
A colorful tapestry..

I hear the wind through the trees.
 The birds and the bees sound so good.
But a leaf is always falling in the woods.
Chris

7/15/12

What Should I Write?

What should I write in the
Middle of the night on these
Lonely and perilous seas?
Maybe no one will find it but
I feel compelled to send something
So someone may remember me.

If the captain's lost his way and
It's a watery grave, so be the
Fortunes of mayhem.
But I can't think of anything I'd
Like to relay at this time that
Would be of any benefit to them.

So an empty log tonight, for the
Captain cannot write and the first mate
Is missing at helm
But I must do my duty
But the truth is
I am lost just as well.

Chris 2/1/88
Off the southern coast of Africa 

Nothing Is Better



Nothing is better than getting old.
It proves I've earned all my scars
And have many, many stories that no one else has told.

It's sweet in it's own way when the creaks and the pops in
My joints make me groan for a second
But I can recollect that they have served me very well to this point.

This strong body of mine has stood the test of time and
By grace of sweet Jesus all I've done.
Through the mountains and deserts, high seas and dangers....
One worry that I don't have is dying young.
Chris 
7/15/12

7/14/12

Untitled

As hard as a diamond
As soft as a kitten
And nothing in between..

She can cut your heart or
Kiss you with such sweetness and
It’s always the utmost extreme.

Its summer or winter,
No warning in time
There to prepare..

As shocking as can be and
Brother believe me
Both will leave you
 Gasping for air.

Her beauty gives her power,
You either smile or cower
Confused.

So tiny but mighty
So powerful and exciting.
Saying . . . . Did I win, break even
Or lose? . .
Chris

The Sirens


Did sirens call me that night?
Over seas just as flat as to glimmer a long line of moonlight,
Did I hear a melody delivered in the key of G?
I thought I could walk the water but swimming came they to get me?

They sang me melodies unheard for centuries.
Of the lost and the saved on the seas.
Treacherous voyages and souls imperiled
They’d saved from the bottom of watery graves.

Dawn, I awoke in my cabin alone. . . .
And birth soaked in brine
I thought I had lost my mind.
Had I just drank too much?
Or was it something else?
Then on my pillow I saw the piece of kelp. .
Chris

7/13/12

Tell The Purple Flowers.....



Where Big Creek Lake flows into the woods

you might meet a moccasin or alligator.
On the lilly pads the frogs gurgle deep in the throughts
and you're sure to catch a fish sooner or later.
Bloody 98 runs over the bridge and little
purple flowers here and there.
Just west of the bait-shop and the farmers market
and strip-club whorehouse.
There is beauty to be seen everywhere.
Outside of mobile headed north and east where
they dammed up the big Creek and made a lake.
Is something you should visit if you ever get the chance and
tell the purple flowers hello for me.
Chris 7/13/12 7;05 AM

7/12/12

Trust In The Storm

We are not young punks that don't understand
the ways of this world...
We have to hold our faith when the sails have
failed and the anchor won't hold...
Otherwise we would just be another random suicide...
These storms will rock our lives unrelentlessly
And what I cant help but wonder is what we
would be like without them.
Without hopelessness then maybe there
would be no hope.
As dark as the night gets then the brighter
our hopes get and the grace of God teaches us to cope.
Though the ropes fail their rigging
and the sea rages deeper.
Can our faith pull us to shore?
When Christ laid down his life in torture and agony
he told us trust in him forever more....
It's easy to say there will be a brighter day
and just spit out advice off the cuff.
There may be much worst to come
before this life is done.
And I know that I have said enough.
Chris 7/12/12/ 3AM

7/8/12

It Feels

It feels like Im frozen in a space
Between pain and paradise.
Nothing to hold but a lovely
love so cold that she can turn
my orgasms into ice.
Such an unbelievable feeling
that the thought leaves me
reeling into depths as deep as
the black.
As I drop down Im fine with the
darkness I've found because I dont
deserve to come back.
My mermaid catches me so
deep in the sea and wraps her
tiny arms around mine.
And though colder it gets
I have no regrets because she
catches me just in time.
And although its a dream I know
what it means and I wrap my
strong legs around hers.... as we
plunge deeper and dearer I take her
and take her...
And take her and take her.
Chris 7/8/12 6:42 AM 

7/5/12

Where lives were lain down


Where lives were lain down and Guts were blown out
Is the very place where we received our freedom.
On battle fields far - flung and still holding their guns,
Where the eagles soar they made us
Freed-men..

We shall never forget and we’re forever in debt to
Hard charging vigorous young men
Who furiously fought for the freedom
That they bought us
Again and again and again.

There are no pretty pictures on battlefields
Shattered by shelling and the screams of the dying.
God bless every soldier over and over
Who gave up their youth and all they held precious
For their eagle is still proud and flying
Chris
Independence Day
2012

How many?


How many times have I
Listened to rain-drops and not
Told the stories they sung?
And how many tears have I
Seen in others eyes just to
Forget the stories they begun?

Caught up in a rat-race in
The savage chase of the
Almighty profit
Did I forget my true calling to
The penny’s caterwauling?
Shit! Tell me, where along the
Way that I dropped it.

Awakened as if asleep in a
Dream that I haven’t really
Liked from the start
Is the truth I forgot that who I
Truly am isn’t as important
As the truths I must impart..

So much like Rip Van Winkle
Who dozed in the shade to
Awaken so many years hence.
To find life doesn’t give back
What is taken, in fact time
Takes more with no thought of
Recompense..

How many rain-bows gave
Such color and splendor while I
Saw only the black and white?
What battles were fought and
Destinies sought that I didn’t
Save for all time?

What a shame for me to claim
I paid attention to the game
When the truth is I fell by the
 Wayside
Now I know where I failed and
New wind fills my sails.
I shall sail on the next coming
Tide..
Chris
6/15/12

Lost and lonely


As i sit here lost and lonely
And this money doesn’t make
Me happy.
Oh, I got rolls of it.
I got bowls of it
But dead presidents can’t make me happy.
Dead presidents just don’t understand me.

Lost and lonely in the shadows
Radio playing so low
As I play a slow sad song
Composed to make the hurting
Grow.

And just the melody of
Loneliness
Is a symphony
But my fingers can’t find the
Right strings.
For the heart of my music was
Lost in the storm
Across these many seas.

Even here on the sea where
Waves of beauty surround me
Calypso and Poseidon’s moist kiss
They don’t do a thing for me
When her laughter will not sing
To me
Give all of it for just one kiss.
Chris
Nowhere
6/29/12

Yeah


Yeah, I know where I am and I
Don’t give a damn cause where i was has brought me here.
If I had gone somewhere else
Then I wouldn’t be myself
 In the mirror.

I won’t apologize
For this look in my eyes.
Why should I pretend
just to promise you forever?
I get what I am by not giving a
Damn.
The less I care then the
More I feel better.

Yeah, and this is just me and
If you don't like it then just
Don’t fuckin' read me…
My life is my own book,
If you don’t enjoy it don’t look
At the images of the rodeo
Story…
Chris
7/2/12

Didn’t know


I didn’t know that that solid
Fortress of me could fall.
I never imagined that the walls
That I built could be brought
Down by something so small.

I can’t even begin to see where
The chinks that built up over time
And the damage was unseen
Till the forces were so overrun
On the line.

I didn’t realize what a
Compromise giving of myself
Would entail.
In foresight I can’t find in
Myself any cause to regret
The loss of the forces that failed.

I didn’t know what I know now
But even if I did, I’m a better
Man to take the defeat.
The loss of my nothingness
Is replaced by a loneliness
And the agony is O so sweet.
Chris.

Dreams


Dreams don’t come so easy to
A man that’s seen the world
And majesties just another
Word
To the jaded and hardened by
The sword.

Looking to See the answers
But Heard all the answers
Before
He just trips through his life
On the edge of a knife
In an effort to never be bored.
Chris
Pacific palisades CA
6/4/12

I’m not back


I’m not back from the universe yet
On the cusp of Orion with the
Shattering asteroids.
Barely feeling that I was ever myself
Like a rocket - man I’m flying
Where there isn’t any sound or air.
It’s just a beautiful void.

My telepathy will call you
As it ever always does
And I know, you
Just know how I feel.
In the Milky Way sway,
Eternal night and day.
In the cosmos’ vacuum of the celestial surreal.

Not a sound can I hear so I
Don’t need to sound sincere
My jet - pack is full of hot air.
No Up or Down or
Horizons or Ground
Screaming through my own
Atmosphere.

I’m not back and I’m not
Foreword.
I’m pretty much not on the ball.
Just a thought I can’t think.
Flying into the brink
Houston, we have no problems
At all.
Chris
Charleston SC

My goal


My goal is to make everyone
Go everywhere and see everything
From just where they sit.
I can surely paint the picture
That leaves the world in rapture….
Be it gore  or
Soliloquies of bliss….

Butter-flies flying or the
Smell of people dying
Whatever I’m sent is what it is.
My goal is to print down the
Things that I’m sent and let
You judge for yourself what I meant
Chris
7/1/12

6/29/12

Magenta Through The Sky

The Leaves are Black
Before the sky
Purple Pink Magenta.
The leaves, The sea
Everything loves black.
Sleeping in this little spot
below eagles point
beside the sea
wrapped in blue tarp
wearing Don's leathers
Opened up for the Eagles tonight
singing Johnny Cash
The wind is cold
Puking up
Tarantula Margarita
Chris/Mary 6/21/12 2:59 AM

6/18/12

Carlos


Met a guy named Carlos who's surfed at Dana Point
Told me a story about how he first
Heard Johnny Cash
An old VW that was hard to start
But finally started at last.


I guess as he said it was Christmas time and a guy with a 
fatback and yuletide spirit
Offered to play a couple 
songs for the family
And they said they'd be glad to hear it.

A boy names Sue so confused and entertained young Carlos
He said he danced like a fool and 
right then he knew Johnny Cash was the boss.

These stories of the king who for me would sing when he
tossed silver dollars down.
The man in black will
I never be back and dont take your guns to town....
Chris Mortonelli 6/17/12



Me and my son just read your story of me together. Thanks for my Fathers Day gift! Your spirit lives amongst many souls you meet and I have the moment to prove it. 
Hasta Manana Amigo

6/17/12

In The Land of The Bird Of Paradise


In The Land of The Bird Of Paradise

Everythings green and so full of promise
But everythings fake and that includes the promises.
Everythings great in the land of the bird of paradise.

Daddy dont lie and mommys not high
And the maid dont steal your ring
Little brother aint gay he just likes
the way he looks in tights.
And everythings green in the land of the bird of paradise.

Southern California, such nice hills even the ones of silicone based.
She didn't have surgery, she just has a youthful face
Nananana na all is Shangri-La
All is what it seems if you believe your dream.
Surrounded by the bird of paradise.

Such a lovely yellow orange and periwinkle blue.
They're growin' everywhere
At ocean ranches too
If you lie to me then Ill lie to you too.

Nobodies dirty in these bedroom towns
Don Henies not high and Whitneys still around.
The ground dont shake and nothing gets me down.
In the land of the bird of paradise.

If I had a house on the hill rite there
I think id have you over but the owners aren't there.
I can see the ocean blue as arctic ice.
In the land of the bird of paradise.

Chris Del Mar CA. 6/16/12

6/15/12

How Many?

How many times have I listened to rain-drops and not told the stories
they sung?
And how many tears have I seen in others eyes just to forget the stories
they begun?

Caught up in a rat-race in the savage chase of the almighty profit
Did I forget my true calling to the penny's caterwauling?
Shit! Tell me, where along the way that I dropped it.

Awakened as if asleep in a dream that I haven't really liked from the start
Is the truth I forgot that who I truly an isn't as
important as the truth's I must impart..

So much like Rumpelstiltskin who dozed in the shade
to awaken so many years hence.
To find life doesn't give back what is taken, in fact time
takes more with no thought of recompense..

How many rain-bows gave such color and splendor
while I saw only black and white?
What battles were fought and destinies sought that I didn't
save for all time?

What a shame for me to claim I paid attention to the game
When the truth is I fell by the wayside
Now I know where I failed and new wind fills my sails I shall sail
on the next coming tide.
Chris/Dana Point CA/ 6-15-12

2/20/12

Scattered Me

This state and that stage,
I've read the final page
Im writing things that dont make sense to me anymore
Bad shots and tied in knots and parts of me in flaccid shock
They look at me like i know the answers
Wheres the bar?
I'm not yer star 
And insincere apologies
Im not a wreck I just feel sick
And all these shows has finally scattered me

I wake up and say where are we today
Does anyone remember where we were yesterday
This dream and some girls screams
And why does it always have to be me
Cant you make your own illusions 
Sick and tired of your intrusions
All these lies has surely scattered me

Broken glass, i dont recall
Punching holes in all these walls
And feinting transparent sincerity 
I'm just a shell, leave me hollow
Hold me to your ear and hear the sea
Rolling on the bottom
But dont put me in your bottle
Just a shell, this sea has scattered me

Black and blue, im desuetude of truth
The spiders sucked me dry, i need a drink
Tripping over guardrails, 
Vacuum fills my sails
Jotting down in coherent tiddlywinks
I'm not yer star, I am, you aren't
My salt has been diluted by yer seas

All this nothing's finally scattered me




12/12/11

My Own Heart

A whisp of wind from some distant fire.
An echo carried over the waves.
I miss her presence with loney desire.
The memory of her touch is my agoony to save.

The saddest admission I've ever had to make
Stabbs to the soul like a dart
I held what everyone prays to have one day
And I like a fool broke my very own heart.

I stare in the mirror at this face she once kissed,
Look at these hands she held .
She tried with all her heart to give me such bliss
And what did it get her but hell?

When I had nothing she gave all that she could
Through hardships she stayed by my side.
Now I have everything but it really means nothing
Because her love for me has finally died.

I have extinguished the loveliest of flames
On the petal demure have I tread.
With my very last breath shall I whisper her name
But in my heart I am alraedy dead.

I have killed what was precious,what was sent down of heavon
And forever my deepest regret.
Till the end of my days I could never repay
Ever shall I be in her debt.

My own soul if forfiet, the essence of joy
I've squandered and torn it apart.
I mocked her sincerity and pissed on her charity.
              Never knew I could break my own heart !
                                                         12/7/11
                                                               taladega al.

How The Desert Smells

A haze lies between myself and the ridge to the west.
A dusty yellow ora with the baking lilt of sterile dust.
There is nothing here to see except for everything.
The Sago-lilly high on the peaks
And the lizards that scurry with ease.
Rocks as sharp or as dull as a spoon
When no shadows exists then exists only noon.

12/8/11

From The Time

From the time I was a young boy I have wondered how I'd feel
If my thoughts coud ever be expressed in terms I saw as real.
If the things I felt were valed or just some form of twisted view
And if I were to say I loved her
What would she then do.

From the time I was a young boy playing soldier with a stick in the yard
I have dreamed about her shape and ways and held hope in all regards.
Yes from the time I was a baby I have dreamed of her perfume.
It's like everywhere I have ever been she had just then left the room.

Is she waiting on the twi-light ?
May she play a song for me
As I have listened to the wind again and wondered ,
Wher now can she be ?

Is she standing on the ever spanning bridge of light and time
Sending thoughts to my subconscience through some channl in our minds?
Is she sailing down the river Styxx singing songs that say my name
Leavind lillies in the water in the hopes I'll know she came?

Are her eyes of blue and turqoisewet with tears against the sun?
Does they search the lost horizons for my sails
Like for her's I've always done?

Is she out there picking Daiseis in the fields of hope and faith ?
In my dreams her golden hair shines like twi-light for my sake
As I walk the the beach and deserts over peaks and valleys low
I hope I'll find her in the gloaming with the purest whitest glow.

All these questions hold one outcome , just her and I as one
When god formed our souls in heavon
The truest of loves was begun.

And he made us for each other all destractions cannot stay.
Only one made for the other so no attractions can hold this sway.
Yes I sojourn with vigor and know what I shall find,
Curse the years that have seperated us
But souls such as ours walk a line.
In destiny and solemn promise of a  day  that will end with a night
That's binds our bodies and souls again as they were formed together in the light.

To the beat of hearts in passion I stay a somber even course
From the time before all time beagan I could somehow feel her force.
To the last of my reserve I shall search the seas and dunes
Under scorching sun and stormy cloud by light of day and dark of moon.

Are the stars the becons of her mercy and the moon her blessed glow
Does she cry for me as a stranger or as someone she's always known?

The promise made within us will someday dawn the perfect day
When our hearts shall join in ernest........
Together..... Forever to stay.
                                                       8/12/86 jakarta Indonesia
                                                        10/19/11 ms
  

11/23/11

Leaders Of The Night

Leaders of the night ,,,,,, they are drawn into the action.
Truth is always out of sight.
They're only words, No satisfaction,,,in the end.
And they wield a word of naught with seeming power and might.
Like a sickness of the soul,,,
Leaders of the night.

Their words are thick with deception.
There's this promise of death's resurrection.
You see, the leaders of the night
Are a moral , social and spititual infection.

You have , for instance Manson in his cell
A well deserving candidate for hell.
All shall spit upon his grave.
All these so called leaders
Are crafty, cunning deceivers
Followed by the death they cause and crave.

And I don't mean to do them justice
Though I must mention some names
They are in no way leaders except in  the sickest of games.
Leaders of the night....Indeed !

This and nothing more.
No true message to implore.
Just insane and endless ramblings
No more than shavings on the floor.
Rampant with their warnings "death is knocking at the door."

They are the biblical whores of Revelations.

Look at Koresh. The whispers still abound
But only bones and ash were found on the compound.
Burned away and bull-dozed to the ground.
No legion of angels flew away on a cloud.
                          Did they ?

And the fly is on the web.
Son yan moon is on the ebb.
The only way to way to snare the lost, I guess
Is to teach them what they want,,,instead of what is right
Aahaa!,,,,So that is what is done by the leaders of the night.

This and nothing more  "come on drink the juice and nothing more"
"come on dummies,take the tour, look at the pretty pictures
It's the way to heaven I'm sure."
Oh My God, what whores !
Insane and endless ramblings no more than shavings on the floor.

Heavens gate stands open
Though by the strait and narrow path.
But they can't be throtteled
Their doctrine is hollow
They can't be bothered with the math,,,,NOOO!

Lay your hand on the television
And the other on your purse
If you don't send me all your money
Your pain will only get worse..
Help me buy another Bently
Or your pain will only get worse.
    Can I get an Amen.?

To cultivate the mind with seeds of malific thoughts and ways
Paves such a distance on the  road to hell.
You see the simple are easily led astray.

And their leader  becomes their God.
Like a plague his power grows.
A sick and twisted crop
Planted in thick sadistic rows.

Monolithical megalomaniel with so many isms and schisms
If you don't send me a million dollars I'll die.
It's really such a worthy decision.
God is broke , he needs a loan.
Power hungry preachers in mansions of gold.
Decieving the flock, hearts cold as rock
Condemning thier followers everlasting souls.
                                       God help us.

With the teeth of the hydra cold-blooded snakes
Slithering squerming like snakes with forked tonges.
They wear their silk suits for their own greedy sake
Damning forever the old and the young.

So to any group who follows a man
I warn the day may come
When you line up for your slaughter
Like the sheep both dumb and numb.

It's ok to doubt man not god
So try their motives well.
Though pretty worlds are inchanting
Would you follow this guide to hell?

Iatollas while you roll
Twisting, burning in the flame,
Dave Koresh, Son yan moon ,Jack Kavorkien ,Jim Jones
When you cry on Jesus' name
May the hours never cease that find you boiled then crisping.
Now you've found true darkness .
Satin's found you in his listing.

And the darkness is your torture
Paid in full you souls of spite.
Ever falling,,,always lonely...
So called leaders of the night....

                                  ROAST ON BOYS!!!!!!
                                               7/25/93 ft lauderdale fl
                                                11/12/11 raleigh ms.                                                      

Come Winter

I'll see you come winter
But I must be away
The buds are on the trees
And longer grows each day.

I shall hold you in my memories
And dream of you at night
But the summer sun is calling me
So I fear I must take flight.

Sadness in my heart I feel
But new life in my bones.
You say that you can't go with me
So I must leave you alone.

A part of me still stays with you
But the rest of me must roam.
The fields and mountains, streams and valleys
Are calling me back home.

I'll see you , come winter
When the hollyhawks lay down their round brown heads
 When the snow on the meadow is shimmering white
And the animals that hibernate lie safe in their beds.

The road is calling
And the birds are all but gone.
May you hold me in your memories
When you hear that Santa Monica song.

I'll see you , come winter
And if I'm still alive
I may just take you sailing
On the bay by night.

Heading north with the frost-line
Some snow still on the peaks
 .............for now
So much I gotta see
While the warmth of summer allows.

I know how much it hurts you
Because it cuts me deeply too.
I'm one for the money and two for the road.
It's just what I always do.

I'll see you come winter
When the hawk is out in force
With a summer tan on my body
Escaping the winter up north.

In the mean-time remember
I'll be back come December.
    And I promise to kiss you in that same special way
Like I never left a moment
And I've come bck home to stay.
I'll see you, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,come winter
                                           4/6/09
                                              gainsville fl

    


Jack and Jill

                                          

Jack and Jill were born one day in a house on a hill in a land far away.
Their parents, good people did solemly attest to bring them up properly and they surely did their best.
Both healthy and lovely, the twins sweet and bright never failed  to garner smiles from anyone in sight.
Yes both of them thrived, excelling greatly in life going faithfully to church and nieither telling lies.
Seeming never to fail, always striving and attempting .
Both parents so proud of their efforts unrelenting.
Time passed as it will and when both started school
They mastered their subjects and followed every rule.
Each top of the class and nither one the fool.
Jill with her etiquette and Jack with  his tools.
Through all of these years like a hand in a glove.
Never anything between them but kindness and love.
Though they deeply loved each other they would speak of the day
When they must go their own seperate ways.
Jill planned to marry of man of the highest esteem
As a lady of true class she would serve as his queen.
For a gentleman and scholar of highest import.
Over servants and maidens she would serve in his court.

Jack planned to be a conguer and great leader of men
In fair and honest dealings, true and faithful till the end.
To build a strong and mighty empire, solvent through and through.
Jack would be renowed to all and gracous to all he ruled.
So time marched on as it forever has and still does
And we as mortals can only mark it for what is is and was.

Surely you know that wherever you go, whether you live in a castle or huvel
It just goes to show one day you'll lay low beneith some man with a shovel..
So the years flew by and the twins grew to the age
when children leave the nest and lives must turn a page.
As all concered would have it eventually came the day
When the two most inseperable went seperate ways.

Jill followed her dreams foward to the utmost extent
With stellar sucesses everywhere she went.
Yes, Jack too finished school but by the skin of his teeth
And in following his dream went down to the sea,
As men often do he sailed into the sun
With a fond "Bon voyage " and a new life begun.

His sister wed her nobleman, A knight and gentle Lord
Who covered her in splendor of all he could afford.
As years passed by she rose higher in piety ,
Her and her husband both pillars of high society.
A couple well recieved by all, yet humbled by their own noteriety.

For Jack it was a struggle still he strived on and on
Doing his best but he drank to excess. and everthing seemed to go wrong.
In her mansion of splendors Jill prayed for her brother
Who however hard he tried went even further under.
Now Jill , true to love gave him all that she could
Even secreting loans that never did any good.
Still she remembered her playmate and friend
A dedicated sister who'd love her brother till the end.

However hard Jack  seemed to try always he met a  brick wall.
No matter how high he climbed and climbed  the further he had to fall.
Still Jill in her most regal splender raised a family soft and tender
And deep in her heart as it was from the start her sweet brother she remembered.
But poor Jack's life never quite would go right
From pillar to post, a different woman each night.

In casinos and taverns he'd gamble and lose
Usually spending what was left on callgirls and booze.
The end came for Jack one cold and rainy night
In some nameless dark alley lost his miserable life.
Noone  ever knew or could  for certain sat right
If he died of his own or someone elses knife.

Not long thereafter jill one day grew sick.
Her husband summoned the best doctors and medics.
But nothing could save her as she knew from the start
No medicene exists to heal a broken heart,
There she died in her mansion with servants at her feet
And she cried for her brother who died in the street.

Yes just another story, not even a chapter
No fairy-tale ending with happily ever after.
A moral repeated down ages and eons
As long as humanity must struggle on.

So nothing changes and never will
      Not in the valleys or high in the hills
Because,,,,,,,,,,,,,Two beautiful children wewr born today ....
              In a house....on a hill.................In a land far away
                                                              chris
                                                               1981 chicago
                                                                2011 ms
  

9/21/11

And The

And the Podersoa Pines are still fine.
The Twin Arrows still stand and the
Air is still as dry as the sun.
Where birds dont even go.
The creasote still grows
So far life is still as young as
The day it begun.